Saturday, October 17, 2009

重生

From today onwards, a new zhi chee is borned.She will be hardworking.She will try her best to achieve things.She will work hard to enter IMU.

i think i have gone through few things in these day.i sometime hate myself,i sometime love myself.i dont know why....

i guess i wasnt a good girl, i dont deserved so many things i own now, i dont have the right to love ppl....i just duno why still got ppl will like me....
i tell u guys here...honestly, i am not good at all...im mean....im devil...im satan...and i do meant it...im not only ugly, i very fat...no body figure, pail shape got....im very stupid and noob....no 气质可言

love is tough, that why god prevent me fr getting it...i appreciate it...thus ...i will try my best not to get involve in this thing. i will do back my zhi chee as i know, no love in her world...
i will change and transform to a heartless ppl....i wish i can do it....wish i manage to do it
bless me...i want to live more easy. dunwan so suffer

今夜的心,静不了

我以为我已经成功忘记他了,但是这只是我一厢情愿的想法。我还是没能放下他。很不甘心自己为什么要受这种苦……他真的是不知道我也喜欢他吗?咳,我越来越不了解自己。很恨酱的自己。为什么斩不断?明明昨天告诉自己, 已经砍断了。

我想,亲爱的,我们之间,爱情没有来过。希望,以后也没有。我受够了~我还是对你抱有希望的。。我越来越高不懂自己。恨自己。阿,救命啊~ 读书吧,像古人那样,读经就能心静。

怎么办,还是静不到~ 救命……

pls:有时,当你越想放弃一样东西,那东西越难被放弃。
事后,很庆幸自己没有告诉到他。

Friday, October 16, 2009

繁忙课业·用功

最近的课业越来越繁忙,我是真的应该加把劲了。很担心自己会被别人挤下来,怕会被别人瞧不起。我知道,你又要说我很怕输hor。 是的,我承认我是超级怕输的人。我一直很想塑造自己是一个很厉害的角色。这样,没人敢看不起我。

很奇怪,我就是会害怕当别人问起我问题,而我不会回答。这种局面会很僵,我想。下次若他遇到这种问题,他很大可能不会再询问我。我不想这种事情发生在我的身上。对,回答别人的问题是有点麻烦,但我就是不想别人看不起我而不问我。这样我会很不爽,不爽就不开心。

所以阿,芷琦,你要加把劲,用功吧~你能的。我一直坚信,只要我用功,我一定很棒,只是从来没用功过。

pls: 有时,相信一件事就要给予行动。不要光说不做。

Thursday, October 15, 2009

降温

回顾下近日的心情,
发现自己并没有当初
想象中的那么喜欢他
没有他的日子
我也能活得很好……

没有那么思念他
没有与他联系
没有当初的那股热情
因为对他的热情已不再

很庆幸自己能抛掉他
活在他的影子下
对彼此都会是种痛苦

身边只有朋友
书 和家人的日子也很很棒~
有时还能搞暧昧

我始终没有后悔自己
斩断了
最近的那三段情
或许是自己多心
但是还是先斩断吧
以免后患无穷……

我懂,我很怪
但是,另种角度看
我很乖, 可不是吗?

pls:喜欢,难以捉摸的东西。至今,仍搞不清楚喜欢是怎样的。

Monday, October 12, 2009

life-love-family-

the life here is really terrible~
haiz...i guess is im too lazy...
i already accumulate quite a huge number of homeworks...
everytime, i plan to do it when i go back to my hometown
but everytime i will just play in my house
cant do anything in home...
thus sometime i will just feel like staying in kl thought the living expense is high
no choice what~

later on ...i found out most of my friends eager to go back home...
the problem is just that they cant
cause they dont have the transport!! their home is too far already
so, shouldnt i just appreciate for what i own?
should i go back home every week ?
cause my mum will be missing me
i guess so la
haha>< so, i think is because of that i want to go back home every week or maybe go back home then i will fell happier last time, i always wish to come out from home now i dont think i have that strong thought cause seriously home is the onlyh place for us when we have trouble no reason no excuse u can just park yourselves there no summon no extra charges in the contrary, they will pronide u food....cut down your usage wakaka.... family is really the most precious thing i have ever own last time quite hate mum and dad i shouldnt say hate it just dislike cause they always scold me lazy but...that is just a way they express their care and love towards me im just too noon abd stupid until i cant realised they just scare i will addicted to the comic , animation, internet and TV till i couldnt study they love me they dont want me to regret for being lazy like what bro do but i just misunderstand i even have a thought to comitted suicide because i thought they dont love me anymore i admit im quite jealous to someone that's why i scare they dont love and i will compare me to my siblings i knew i shouldnt do so but i just cant control myself i will think once i die they will have no burden over me they will released set free no need to take care of me no need to scold me and they can save energy they will be happy for this for sure that is what i think last time la now i know the truth they love me so so so much i guess la hahha>< i love them too of course~ for sure so to return...i must hardworking... study~ so that can repay them i have to be a doctor, successful one not for HIM no more for him and never for him as since the beginning i did this just for my family i really wish my parents will be proud of me i really wish i can provide all good stuff for my parents as i really love them as they love me i realised now ... it wasnt too late i guess from now i had to be super hardwork i wish i can transform i wish i wont be that lazy i wish i can challege all the people and defeat them i wish there will no more LOVE stuff interfere me i wish i will be healty to fight for this battle i wish my parents get want they want to get cause i will really try hard to help them get what they want within my ability pls:人总在会长大后才察觉自己的错处……庆幸,仍为太晚~
家人永远是咱们的避风港,珍惜,惜福,福报……

Monday, October 5, 2009

today sky