Wednesday, December 29, 2010

JaeJoong- To you it's Seperation, For me It's Waiting..

一首我很喜欢的歌,
很触动心底深处的歌,
是因为尝试过,
所以才有所体会吗?我疑惑……




Singer: Jaejoong

Title: To You It's Separation, For Me It's Waiting 

Sungkyunkwan Scandal OST 


ginagin haruga gane
nae maeum modu aneun geotcheoreom
sigani ppalli jinagamyeon
deo ichyeojilleunji

neoui binjarireul ppaemyeon
modeun geon jejarie inneunde
gaseumi gojang nanneunji
neoreul bonaen geol silgam motae
naui modeun sarangeun heotdoen yaegi

na ireoke neoreul bonae
hajiman naegen gidarimui sijagin geol
tteonagajima nae saranga
du beon dasi neol bol su eobtjanha
nae mamsoge namainneun geudae

neoui binjarireul ppaemyeon
modeun geon jejarie inneunde
gaseumi gojang nanneunji
neoreul bonaen geol silgam motae
naui modeun sarangeun heotdoen yaegi

na ireoke neoreul bonae
hajiman naegen gidarimui sijagin geol
tteonagajima nae saranga
du beon dasi neol bol su eobtjanha
nae mamsoge namainneun geudae

tteonagajima nae saranga
du beon dasi neol bol su eobtjanha
eodiseodeun eonjerado
himdeulgo jichil ttaen naegero dorawa jebal
haengbokhaeya hae nae saranga
geu nalkkaji yeongwonhal ttaekkaji

geudaemaneun nareul itgo
akkimeobsi jiwo
ijen


English Translation。。。
The day seems to last forever
As if it read my heart
With passing time, will it fade?

Except for your empty space
Everything is the same
My heart must be broken
Can't seem to accept that I sent you away
All my love is now in vain

I sent you away
But my waiting has just begun
Don't leave my love
I may never see you again
You are still in my heart

Except for your empty space
Everything is the same
My heart must be broken
Can't seem to accept that I sent you away
All my love is now in vain

I sent you away
But my waiting has just begun
Don't leave my love
I may never see you again
You are still in my heart

Don't leave my love
I may never see you again
Wherever whenever
When you're tired and discouraged, come back to me
Be happy my love
Until that day, forever that day (when we can be together)

I want you to forget me
Don't hesitate
For now.


CREDIT TO :eklyricos.blogspot

Saturday, December 18, 2010

朋友

该怎么开始说呢?这个人在我生命中扮演着蛮有分量的角色,茫茫然然地形容是对他的无理。哈哈,怎么说都好啦,这位他,不会来这里看我的文章的。

他,长得比一般,帅。他的帅不是第一眼就发觉的,是从他的内心散发出来的。他的人真的很好,对我很好也。哈哈哈,相信他不止对我好,他对身边的任何人,都一样的公平、好。

昨天,在我发呆时,他拨了一通电话给我,很是感激、很是感动。每次,我需要的时候,他都会帮我。这点,我想过了老半生,我仍会记得的。我真心地希望我跟他,能永远当很要好的朋友。要是机会许可,我也想当他得知己。哈哈哈,贪心的我。

他有一个习惯,喜欢凌晨拨电。每次与他聊天,若是他打过来的,一定是凌晨,12点。哈哈哈,很奇怪。但是我比较过分吧,因为我还是过两点烦他!哈哈,没发,男生朋友当中,他最帅了!最可靠、最好人了!!

很开心,你打电话给我,真的。您那句,:“现在开心了吗?”让我很感动。我现在开心了拉!哈哈哈。没想到,你打电话给我就只因为你还有雯亿,想逗我开心,感动无限!! 爱死你们了~

人生有此朋友,真的太好了!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

真心假意

我想我不会再信你了。
我给你的是真心,
你还我的不只是假意,
还有灰心。

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Back to December - Taylor Swift



this song, Back to December....


I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I'd go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I'd go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand


But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I'd go back to December all the time

All the time

haha, it's quite a sarcastic song,
remind me about something i had never do and had no intention to do..
I should have appologise?
But will you ever said the appologize is too late?
Will you turn me down?
I have no ideas, and i have no courage to risk myself to this...

Life is like this, Dont you think so?
People always regret for what they didnt
and never appreciate for what they did....

I had turned you down and now im deserved this.
I had fooled you and now you ruined me back.
you had give me all your love for once...
and I knew it... but im just too scare..
I dare not face it, i choose to escape,
I choose not to response.. i choose freedom.
I gave you all was just goodbye..

These days all the past just flashback in my mind
It wasn't something you can get rid easily, seriously.
I keep thinking and realise somehow in deep site of my soul,
I am missing you... I miss your sweet smile, I miss your breath..
It's all seem so right to me...

I'd go back to that month if i have a chance...
I'd go back to change my own mind..
I'd go back to make myself realised how nice was you..
but i also know i cant...I cant never change the past..

So i will just lead my life now...as a normal girl
without your hand in mine
without your sms before sleep
without your hot breath around my ear
without your whisper to my mind
without your picture in my phone
without your message in my mailbox..
Then will be fair to my next station...
and maybe i will willing to drop by at my next station..


Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right



Tuesday, December 7, 2010

回忆

……但不仅仅因为这些,
只言片语难以形容的。

喜欢的心情,
是从别处涌现的
就算遭到反对,
就算自己明知不行
但只要察觉到这种心情
就无法阻挡啊。

这是魔咒,
对倔强的人
对不诚实的人
对聪明又迟钝的人
来说是绝对的魔咒

Saturday, December 4, 2010

疯了几天·感想

这些天,我过得很是充实,到出去玩、吃、喝。该是开心还是失落?我真得很充实吗?身体很明确的显现出我曾经充实的痕迹,疲惫?劳累?内心、心灵的体验却是另一回事。我感到很空虚,真得很落寞。是我自己逼自己逼得太紧了?还是自己迫不及待想要表现出自己已经完全康复的迹象?不停地告诉别人,自己好了,自己活得很好,自己胖了,自己笑了。每一次说这些话,话尾就像刀刃划过心,很美的弧线,美得让人心碎。我很好,三个字,那么的简单,却是那么的难……

病愈与否,真正知道得就只有自己了,能帮助自己的也只有自己,但是我真的不知道我是否好了。重复式地告诉她们我没事,似乎是想催眠自己没事,欺骗自己说我好了。渐渐地,我也不清楚真伪了,可悲!!

无论如何,这些天,在外面的那些天,我是快乐的,我相信。虽然累,虽然有在伪装,虽然不想笑仍得笑,但是我很谢谢陪我逛街的朋友。你们很棒!!

至于你,我很抱歉,当是的我太天真幼稚无知了。是我不够勇敢,或许当我完全康复的时候,我会感激你,你的夺走与背叛。


Sunday, November 28, 2010

你不懂我的美

你可以收起你的面具,
在我面前你真的不需要
你腐烂扑满蛔虫的脸,恶心!!

虚情假意做作的关心,
我真的不想再接应
我不是玩具,不是你要就有的
你当真以为我没有选择吗?

天,我一开始来到这里就是一种错误
要是我再陷下去就是另一种错误
明知道错还要错真的很无药可救
明显,我是有理智的,
这事情里,我们当中最有理智的,
可不就是我吗?
可是为什么我为你们着想时,
却没有人为我想?

自私的人们
男人女人都不能相信,
曾经,最要好的朋友也会出卖你
正如我的下场,朋友?哈哈,可笑

教训是有的,就是
在为人着想前,
想想自己有没有本钱为人着想
没有的话,就被再傻了,
你只会被人杀……

你们都不懂我的美
那么我何必在你们面前展现我的美?
浪费力气浪费生命而已
世上,懂我的美的人多地是。
所以原谅我,说声
对不起,门口在那!!

PS:世上不是每件事情都是那么美好的,
      但是至少它们能让你变得更有韵味。

Friday, November 19, 2010

最近就是有一些事情烦着我,一波未平一波又起,无疑是挂在我身上最好的形容词不过了。我快要被烦恼压至窒息了。崩溃是不久以后的自己。烦啊,烦恼,难不成您就不能借借位?我想呼吸……

Monday, November 15, 2010

遗憾美·爱的开始


有一种爱叫做放弃,有一种爱叫做执着,有一种爱叫做祝福,有一种爱叫做祈求,有一种爱叫做无私,有一种爱叫做奢望,有一种爱叫做真诚,有一种爱叫做..................... 
老鼠对猫说:我爱你… 
猫说:你走开. 
老鼠流泪走了. 
但是,谁也没有看到,老鼠走后猫也流下了泪. 
其实有一种爱叫放弃. 
感情的世界里没有谁是谁非, 
有的只是谁不懂得去珍惜。 
爱有很多种, 而人的一生中或许会经历四种爱 
在错的时候遇到对的人, 是遗憾; 
在对的时候遇到错的人, 是错爱; 
在错的时候遇到错的人, 是幸运; 
在对的时候遇到对的人, 是幸福. 
挚着是一种美好,坚持是一种忠诚 
美好不一定快乐,忠诚不一定幸福 
成全了理智,辛苦了孤独的心 
该放弃时就不要再留恋了,否则痛的只是自己 
不管是男人或是女人还是自私些,爱自己多一些 
放弃是一种美,美的很灿烂。 
虽然没有了t她,你的生活或许不在五彩缤纷。 
香烟遇上火柴......... 
就注定被伤害, 
或许放弃才是最美丽的结局。 
树叶的离开........... 
是风的眷恋, 
还是树的不挽留.................. 
烟花遇上流星......... 
就注定被错过, 
尽管都是一刹那,

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
爱   
  由一个微笑开始, 
  用一个吻来成长, 
  用一滴泪去结束~~当你爱上一个人而不被对方所爱,是一件很伤心的事。 
但最痛苦的莫过你爱一个人而却没有勇气让他知道你的感受。 
最好的朋友是那一种能够让你坐在秋千上,不发一言, 
然后静静地一起离开,感觉就是从未有过最好的对话。 
这是真实的 ~~ 
你永不知道你得到了什么直至你失去了的时候; 
而更加真实的是 
你永不会知道自己失去什么直至他到达的时候。 

要遇上一个人只要用一分钟的时间, 
要喜欢上一个人只要一句话的时间; 

要爱上一个人只要用一天的时间, 
但要忘记一个人却要用一生的时间。 

为自己的梦想而去想, 
到自己想到的地方,做自己想做的事, 
因为你只有一次的人生及一次机会去做这全部的事。 

尝试把自己放在对方的立场,当你感觉受到伤害时, 
  很有可能他也在是被伤害。 

  最快乐的人并没有需要拥有世上所有最好的事, 
   而只需要令到大部份的事能沿着自己的人生而来。 

   人生中一件伤心的事是当你遇见一个对你充满意义的人, 
    但你却在最后才发现。 

     一句不小心的说话会令一场骂战展开, 
    一句残酷的句子会摧毁你一生, 
    一句话爱的句子却会是无限的喜悦和祝福。 
某个角落看见这,很有意思吧,对于某些人,希望对你有用!
Currently listen to Taylor Swift The story of  Us

Friday, November 12, 2010

一些事·一些人

真的很衷心的谢谢你们,很感动在我身边,有着那么一群朋友。那么关心我、心疼我。其实啊,我真得很好,甭担心我。你们想太多了。我瘦下来,是因为我身体本来就不怎么健康,并不是因为某些原因我没心情吃东西。我脸色不好,是因为我真的身体不怎么健康,不是因为我不吃东西。我不怎么笑,是因为我很累。我说话变得很慢,是因为我老了。我很忧郁,是因为我……这点,我还没发现原因。

很谢谢你们特意告诉我要照顾好自己,真的。我会好好照料自己的,为了我自己。所以你们就静静地,看着我成长吧。我会回来的,有一天,我痊愈了的话。

还有,现在的我很想念你们……真的!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

不曾

风,不曾为了我却步。
风,依旧地吹啊吹~

雨,不曾为了我飘零。
雨,依旧地来,不来。

风雨同在的那天,
共处屋檐的那天,
你我相诉的那天,
是多么遥远的那天……

一切的一切都随风去,
对白、回忆全随雨飘。

本来就是一个人地来,
当下就要一个人地去。

不曾相信就不会被骗,
不曾期待就不会失望。

不曾开始就不会难舍,
不曾舍下就不会有得。

不曾伤过就不会珍惜,
不曾放过就不会懂得。

Currently listening to Taylor Swift- Back To December

Sunday, November 7, 2010

不期待你会看到,
但是只是很想问,
您是不是生气了?

您是否生气我了?
很纳闷,您的改变。

生气的话,
请您告诉我。
我懂我很白目,
所以才需要您的提醒。
请您不要静静地,
那样我会很不安……

Friday, November 5, 2010

幸福

幸福其实很简单,
要求得不能太多,
那样就很容易幸福。
人是不易满足的动物,
不能让自己变得贪心。

没有贪念,没有太多的奢求,就会快乐。

其实,
不需太多的言语,这样就够了,不是吗?
快乐取决于您的心。

Monday, November 1, 2010

fireworks

Katy Perry - FIREWORKS


Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon



突然地听到这首歌曲,
没有预料自己会那么喜欢,
一切都很合天意。

是神明要我知道自己也有用处吗?
是祖先想我明了自己不是窝囊废?

我也曾经感觉自己很无用,
我对自己没有信心。
我很讨厌自己,
甚至想让自己消失在人间。

我觉得自己没有吸引力
我觉得自己没有贡献
我觉得自己是世上多余的
我觉得没有人要我……

很明显地,
曾经我是被抛弃的那一位
虽然我们谁也不懂究竟是谁被抛弃,是她?是我?
但是外人看来我是落败者。

有无数万次在心中衡量
自己究竟输了哪里?
身边的朋友也无数万次
告诉我肯定我很优秀。
但是输了就是输了……
能赢的就只剩成绩了。

我或许不是真的窝囊废吧?
但是要是我继续那么自怨自艾
我铁定会变成不折不扣的窝囊废
我是时候要收拾心情专心一致读书
那么,相信我的人们才不会失望吧。

我几时才能像烟火般,
发出灿烂让人心醉的火花?
我几时才能随自己的愿,
尽情的燃烧自己,点缀自己的生命。

我要活得更精彩!!
我不是纸带,不是无能之辈!
我会发出我的光芒,
让你们挂目相看……

Saturday, October 30, 2010

郁闷

想把郁闷的心情揭开
最近,对自己越来越没有信心。
你懂,我都不告诉你我的心事。
我开始怀疑彼此的关系……

瓶子瓶子,我是否只是个瓶子哦……
有谁能告诉我?你吗?

谁能够划船不用浆?
谁能够打球不用拍?
谁能够解开我心结,
不用刀去伤害我……

Thursday, October 28, 2010

担心

告诉别人我很担心,别人都会对我冷眼相待。
因为他们都不相信我需要担心。
其实,我真的很担心自己的学业。
看着越来越差的成绩,我害怕……
看见原本比自己差的人,比自己厉害,
我自卑……

我明白我需要加油,但是就是懒。
活该啊我!
真的,芷琦你必须加油!!!
为明天的自己加油!
你可以的,相信自己。重要的是,你要用功!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

开心

终于说出来了,
虽然很多没有说出口,
但是至少把最重要的东西将出来了。

开心开心开心!!
今后的我,也会一直笑下去。
因为你喜欢我的笑容^^

还有很多很多很多的话想说,
但是时机不对,至少我是这么认为的
我绝对会转达给您的。

如有有一天,
我觉得时间对的话。
应该会在明年告诉您,
因为那时的我比较成熟。
因为那时的时间对,
不会影响我不想影响到您的东西。
您绝对要活到那一刻!
勇敢的活下啦!
觉得挣扎,不用想太多,找我!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

解说#1

干扰,是别人对你做出你不想要的事。
打扰,是别人在做你讨厌的事。

很纳闷,若真的算是干扰,打扰,
为什么我丝毫没有讨厌的感觉?
若是打扰,我应该会很抗拒才对。
为什么我感觉很快乐?

你想说我有被虐症??
很犯贱地爱受折磨??

如果您不肯接受我的说法,
要是您硬是要说那是打扰,
那么您可骗自己说,我有被虐症。
如果那会让您快乐,安心的话。
只要您快乐就好……^^
这是我永不改变的宗旨

Monday, October 25, 2010

24th

they said 13th friday is a bad day...
For me...i dont really know whether is it a bad day or not.
What i know is...24th of even number month is always the SUCKEST day in my life...
june, august, october and now i wondering what come the next during december..
Whatever is it, I will face it and fight it, if that is my fate...

If u give me a time traveler, i prefer a machine that can delete the memory.
Pls delete all the 24th in my life... I hate them...

things that you dont know...

You will never know how scare am i, Yesterday.
When you told me you saw it...
What i had did was just use my hand to cover my head and mouth.
Keep saying omg omg omg omg...

I feel i was like a kid...a childish kid, knowing nothing.
I panic! nervous! scare! fear! this you will never know...
You wont know where i put you in my heart.
Cause this is the part we keep ignoring.

And finally, I never know i made you misunderstand one thing.
I dont mean you...in my post...
Well of course not food seducing me,
but not you also....
The person i meant there was a girl.
A girl that you know i know...
I said like this you may misunderstand again...
If want to know who is she,
Please ASK ME PERSONALLY...
And believe what i had said...

i wish have a power to diminish all the 'sry' in my world....

Friday, October 22, 2010

Steam distillation


Part1:



Steam distillation is a special type of distillation (a separation process) for temperature sensitivematerials like natural aromatic compounds.



Many organic compounds tend to decompose at high sustained temperatures. Separation by normal distillation would then not be an option, so water or steam is introduced into the distillation apparatus. By adding water or steam, the boiling points of the compounds are depressed, allowing them to evaporate at lower temperatures, preferably below the temperatures at which the deterioration of the material becomes appreciable. If the substances to be distilled are very sensitive to heat, steam distillation can also be combined with vacuum distillation. After distillation the vapors are condensed as usual, usually yielding a two-phase system of water and the organic compounds, allowing for simple separation.




Part2:

Steam distillation
Notice that in the presence of water, phenylamine (or any other liquid which is immiscible with water) boils well below its normal boiling point. This has an important advantage in separating molecules like this from mixtures.
Normal distillation of these liquids would need quite high temperatures. On the whole these tend to be big molecules we are talking about. Quite a lot of molecules of this sort will be broken up by heating at high temperatures. Distilling them in the presence of water avoids this by keeping the temperature low.That's what steam distillation achieves.



Carrying out steam distillation
We will carry on with the phenylamine example for now. During the preparation of phenylamine it is produced as a part of a mixture containing a solution of all sorts of inorganic compounds. It is removed from this by steam distillation.
Steam is blown through the mixture and the water and phenylamine turn to vapour. This vapour can be condensed and collected.
The steam can be generated by heating water in another flask (or something similar).
As the hot steam passes through the mixture it condenses, releasing heat. This will be enough to boil the mixture of water and phenylamine at 98°C provided the volume of the mixture isn't too great. For large volumes, it is better to heat the flask as well to avoid having to condense too much steam and increase the volume of liquid in the flask too much.
The condensed vapour will consist of both water and phenylamine. If these were truly immiscible, they would form two layers which could be separated using a separating funnel. In fact, the phenylamine has a slight solubility in water and various other techniques have to be used in this particular case to get the maximum yield of phenylamine. These aren't relevant to this topic.


Some other applications of steam distillation
Steam distillation can be used to extract some natural products - for example, to extract eucalyptus oil from eucalyptus, citrus oils from lemon or orange peel, and to extract oils used in perfumes from various plant materials

Monday, October 18, 2010

emo

It has been a time that i didnt actually EMO..
But now seriously im sick of it already..
Well well...i know i shouldnt be like this anymore , as you said like now, it will just turn worse..
My result, My stuff also will become sucks
But i know u knew it very well that something just hard to control...
I HATE myself the most in the END
for being such a weak and noob GIRL...
yeah.,..im a girllll ....lol

hope for a better tomorrow....
What i can do is....
And pls...stop seducing me!!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

快乐人生

等了很久很久,才有勇气再次回到这里。
不简单,这一路……

是自己太年轻,当初的自己才会那么的白痴。
是自己天生笨,才会一次又一次的被骗……

其实我明白都不是。我不容易被骗的。
只不过,就是有一些人,能很简单得得到我的信任。
我从心地相信他,也不对他说谎,
就是有那么一些人存在。

是幸运的,一直相信
有一些东西,属于你的,
就算你狠心放他走,
兜兜转转定会回到你的身边。
那时,那东西一定会更珍惜你。

相对的,不属于你的东西,
用强硬的手段将他挽留在身边,
也是于事无补的,因为
最后他会离开你,
就算当下的你拥有它,
那时,你会更伤痕累累。

塞翁失马,焉知非福?
至少,现在的我,很快乐。
不是做作的快乐,而是真正的快乐。
不必为不属于这年龄的问题烦恼,
只为这年龄的乐事快活。

这样的生活,不是羡煞旁人吗?
对不起,有些人羡慕不来了
不好意思^^

Monday, September 6, 2010

她说#2

她说,我会恨你。
他说,我会更快乐,因为有他。
她说,我很乐天。
他说,他会等着我,因为相信。
她说,我很逞强。
他说,我在他面前,不用面具。

你们可不可让我说????
我说,你们别自以为是可以吗???
你又了解我多少???
别烦了!!今天心情又够糟了!!
你们说的!!全都错了!!不要自做聪明……
明明什么都不懂,就不要装懂,就不要装了解
就不要装到一幅真的人很好的样子
我对你没有兴趣,所以请回。

Friday, September 3, 2010

set me free

im just innocent kid. So sorry that i dont know what had happened to you. Actually, I know if i want to know, i will know it. However i just dont have the intention to know it. I dont bother it neither. Because no longer care to know. I have my own pace now, though snail's pace yet im enjoy with it. I love moment now, no stress no tension no horror. Im just me. People still crowded around me. You got nothing on me.

I just gonna stand there and watch you burn..it's alright because i dont care..
I just gonna stand there and watch you cry...it's alright because you now know what i felt those days...

Glad that I move the first step out. Glad that im the final decision maker. Glad that i have gang of true friend that support me give me strength and bravery. Glad that IM STILL aLIVE.

Frankly, I DONT love the way you lie... But now, It's ok cause it cant hurt me anymore...Cause im free... IM BACK!!!
the crazy zhi chee~ Next time? believe me there is no next time...im free...now! thank for setting me free, my lord!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

无题

虽然看不到听不到,
但是逃不到忘不了。
虽然你知道我知道,
可是泪在飙心在揪。

心意已绝不再妥协,
不值得不在乎绝对。
记得曾经放下过去……

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

她说#1

她说,不用担心,万事还有她会聆听我的声音。
虽然帮不了你做任何事,但是我会听你说你要说的东西。
她还说,想哭就哭哭去……不要再假坚强,不哭。
虽然不值得你的泪,但是哭了,心还是舒服的。
不要在再人前忍哭,拼命咬唇,咬到有伤痕,那样狠傻。
要哭就哭!敢敢哭,才像芷琦。
但是,哭了这次,下次不要再哭了。
她说,你不哭的样子,让人好辛酸,你就哭吧。
她还说,我借你肩膀,来抱抱(明知我对抱抱没有抵抗力)

结果如她所愿,我决堤了!!在她的怀里。谢谢你。
你的体味我会记住的。庆幸你平胸,否则我会自卑!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

凌晨十二点

静静的,就不想说话,是累了吧……
谢谢你,总是在我有困难时,指引我。
或许对你来说没什么大不了,但是我真的衷心感激。

谢谢你的关心,谢谢你的爱。
凌晨了你还愿意陪我聊天,鼓励我。
我会加油的,一切就让上天决定吧~
我还是我,希望能办到你所期许的,希望我有那等能耐。

Sunday, August 1, 2010

search

Searching something that is really meaningful to my life.
Dont want my life to be meaningless..
What do I really want?
Friendship? I guess this is the one...
Need a gang of people that can really fool around with..
while hugging them ^^

Friday, July 30, 2010

big big world




I'm a big big girl,
In a big big world,
It's not a big big thing, If you leave me
But i do do feel,
But i too too will miss you much,
Miss you much......

Just simply love this rotten and simple song. Maybe because it is simple, I like this song. The  keep repeating lyrics make people think this is a kid song but for me, It much more better than kid song. Lyrics strongly illustrate the inner world of a little girl.

Personally think that, this is not a big big girl song. Ya, lyrics stated there Im a big big girl, I feel it is just a small girl pretending tough and strong. Pretending she lead a good life without that person. I have no idea whether that person is a guy or girl. I just know someone that really meant to her, leaved her. She does feel sad but she has no choice. She cannot expressed her depress, maybe because of her pride or her situation not allow her to show it. If shi did show it, many people around her will get hurted. he choose that convinced herself that It was not a big big thing that she dumped by that person.

Why I said so? Simply because she said but i too too will miss you much. She cannot let that person go, she just pretending... She choose to miss that person secretly. She knew she need to forget that person, She got to find somebody to love. But sometimes, we just lose to our emotion. We hard to control what we feel. She misses someone  that she should not miss. She does not want this thing to end so early but she got no choice. This had happened she had to accept it... Although she really miss that person very much. MIssing alone....very much...

LOL...I have no idea what am I writing or typing . Just crapping...haha..Heard this song somehow accidentally or intentedly...just a song...LISTEN and forget it...OR just sing along...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

thoughts#1

Strong and tough, I wish I am. I have no idea what is going on. Used to be the leader and used to be the one that make decision, but now who am I? what am I?

I wish I gain back my confidence, my pride. I want my pride back. It's time for me to make my own decision. Is it you need to leave me alone then only I can see the world with a clearer view?

I need someone...teach me to be cruel, convince me that Im tough and I have a better and cherrier life NOW

Friday, July 23, 2010

night

there is someone, when u saw his or her name...you just feel nothing.
There is someone, when you saw the name, you just feel disgusting.
There is someone, once you saw him or her, you feel like running away.
there is someone, once you saw that person, you feel like looking at a dog...

ps: don't know what am i writing. AS you always said, Im EMO queen...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

climb

Thanks for anyone and everyone that stand beside and behind me, hold me when i am going to fall. Really want to give a big hand to you guys. I know what should i do now. Thank for your ideas.

Ya, my cases are slightly, oops maybe much more worse than yours. But believe me, I will stand much more stable than you. Why? Simply because Im Chew zhi chee----the SHERO in someone minds. You gonna be tougher, as your case was just a kids' case compared to mine. I know, deeply, ages later, i will  take my case as baby case too. But now, I really have huge trouble in solving it.

Trust me. I can cope with it. AS you said and as you hoped. i will do it that way, so you wont disappointed! whatever~ i just love it...whatever~ lolx. I will throw myself into the valley...and slowly i will heal and i will climb on another greater mountain. It's just a climb.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

天很晴,风很大。
鸟很自由,水很自在。
落花知情,流水报信。
艳阳很猛,冷气也猛。
我在发抖,你在说笑。
我很累,我不泪。

Friday, July 16, 2010

whatever

Tends not to care anything, Tends not to be emo, But just cant hold my own emotion. I really know what am I doing. I really know where is the line and when is the deadline. I do.
But it's just too hard for me to say NO. I know i deserve a better treatment. I know i have better conditions.
But we are silly, arent we? We just tend to believe the illusion. The illusion is just too sweet for you to ignore.
Enough.. I really not as tough as you think, nor as brave as you believe. You have no right to do such terrible things on me. Dont break my defence line. I know I lose. And i know, i can never forgive XXX.
The only chance to win is just sit back to my place, lead my happy and satisfied life while enjoying the awful show.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

simply and easy

Wish can give myself a long long leave.... to escape this cruel world. Things i dont want just keep coming, and disturbing...Ignore Ignore Ignore but just keep disturb. Silent Silent mode but still there... It's time for me? But i just dont want. Cause this is not the thing i want...I guess i clearly know What i Dont want...So just Sorry. Im not suitable for these. Im noob and silly. I think i just want freedom and happiness. Simply and easy... Thank

湖面

那天,滔天大浪的八月湖,渐渐地平息。滚动的泥水,悄悄的沉淀。湖水从混浊的颜色,慢慢地变得清澈。原本,这是最终的结果,但是事与愿违。

有人,从黑暗处,无助地烦恼着。烦啊烦,就这样手边的石头随着他想扔出烦恼的心,从他手上划出一道漂亮的弧线,跌进无底的湖里。

这一抛,在跌落处,激起无数水花。阳光下,闪烁的水花,那么得耀眼,那么得刺眼,那么得迷幻……要是在水花回归母体时就能平静,那该多好。这一抛,不只溅起水花,也推出一阵又一阵的涟漪,迟迟不消。回荡再回荡,不断持续那慢动作但深影响的行为,久久不灭。浪起不灭。

Monday, July 12, 2010

闲逛

吃饱,郁闷,烦恼……
秋千,滑梯,跷跷板……
无聊,闲聊,心事……
散步,唱歌,心痛……
武装,假装,伪装……
面具,坚强,空壳……
虚伪,潇洒,假做不在乎
善良,借口,逃避……
徘徊,振作,微笑^^

记载#1

27-6-2010...
He said:"

  • Not at all...just you need to take care of yourself~
  • Jom pray and go bersama...
  • ....... act weird...dramatic..
  • so fake...for me...up to u
  • dont push urself too much
  • teach me maths...bio how u hafal...
  • you are much better than what u think...
  • i cant help u....just can accompany u..
  • you got no choice, hug me...who ask u dun have teddy?
  • im free for u....(sry)
She said:"
  • im shocked by your iq..(thank)
  • you are so_______
  • phone me....
  • path of growth...will more mature
  • you are lucky...
  • you  can....
I said:"


  • we are good friend...so same 
  • same fate sister...
  • anything just tell...dont hide hide
  • go before u regret...
  • it's ok now...nevermind and whatever
  • Im not better than you..
  • Im not kind... if not you...
  • you deserved a better life...my dear^^

Monday, July 5, 2010

Hate

Seriously, i hate coming back to kl..seriously hate hate HATE so much... But had to come back, what to do? who ask me to dump kmm and come to UCSI. I need to receive this as my balasan....haha...

What to do? What else should i do? why so many cockraoch? cant you guy just stop annoying me? im frustrated! PLease leave me alone. Just wanna be alone, have a single time alone...Thank.

Things come and go, things you cant hold just let go... It will be better^^. Stop stop stop...cant you see there have red sign?? Whatever was my code..please dont inimate me. I just wanna be silence... Just wanna sleep..Just wanna eat little....sorry, no appetite seriously...>.<

Whatever it is, face it with your proud-est ways... your common ways of handling these... please dont do it till it is so obvious that you are doing what you did at first......................................................you get what i mean??

懦弱

我们无法坦诚相对,并不是我们生性怪癖,
而是因为我们都是胆小鬼,是我们太怯弱。

那时候,我们都还未察觉
那姗姗来迟的青春 正如一把利刃
毫不留情地  刺穿了我们的心

Saturday, July 3, 2010

[转] 不知什么什么话……

1.忍耐的实质就是,你要赚便宜你就赚,你想不要脸你就不要脸,随便。

我能施舍给你的,我给;我给不了的,你找别人要去。至于别人给不给,那是你们的事了。

2.对付虚伪的人,不是骂她,不是拆穿她,而是让她继续悲哀地虚伪着,然后装作什么也不知道。那么慢慢地,很多人会主动跑来告诉你她有多虚伪。

3.对付自私的人,不是恨她,不是不理她,而是渐渐远离她,从心底远离她,然后装作什么都不知道。如果她去找别人,那么你会发现,很多人都远离了她。

4.永远没有一个人是你离不开的,现在离不开的,不代表永远离不开。
没有什么是你放弃不了的,你不放弃的可能会先放弃你也说不定。

5.除了父母,没有什么人是不求回报的。恋人对你好是以爱情和谐为前提的,朋友对你好是以共同利益和消除寂寞为前提的。另外的人,就更不用说了。

6.一个人生活虽然很难,但也必须学会一个人,不要轻易依赖别人。这是为了防止你身边的人都离开的时候,你还可以好好活下去。

7.生病的时候,自己要重视自己,不能等着哪个谁来重视你。等到那时候,你会发现自己不管是身体还是心灵都已经很难受了。

8.独自异地求学,要学着多和父母联系沟通,要学着多听长辈的话。
要学着忍耐,没有什么是你忍不了的,别人再错,也犯不着拿别人的错误惩罚自己。

9.别人和你说的话,不管出于什么初衷,能信但不能全信。
但是,别人说的时候,尽量认真听,仔细回应,这是对人的尊重。

10.不要轻易试探你的好朋友,要不你不是很失望,就是多了个“神经病+想太多”的帽子。

11.不要轻易对人多愁善感,就算你是真的多愁善感。别人可能不能理解你的多愁善感,也没这个义务和责任。这样的话,你想的发泄就变成了自取其辱和加深痛苦。

12.在任何状况下,不能玩弄别人,玩人必被人玩。你再有心眼,也不是最厉害的那个。

13.不要去抢属于别人的利益,但也不能纵容别人抢自己的。这是原则。

14.没有必要去嫉妒别人的成绩,人缘,地位,奖学金之类。
原因有五:
1,别人可能真的付出得比你多,只不过你没看到。
2,这些东西只能带来一时的满足,而不是永久的满足,不要也罢。
3,这里面有你玩不来的游戏规则,玩的来的人也都挺累的。
4,你有不如人的,就一定有比别人好的,静待时机。
5,不争抢这些,你的朋友会更多。

15.能帮助别人的,尽量帮忙。不能帮的,别勉强自己

16.对于喜欢和你对着干的人,首先要客观的反省自己,改正自己,消除自己的原因。
其次,看清楚她是多么幼稚,让她一个人不开心好了

17.对于和自己生活习惯不同的人,把距离拉远一点,
然后各自活各自的,不影响别人,也别要求别人改变。

18.好兄弟,明算账。不要把账目搞地太复杂,钱是父母给的,不是自己赚的,要省着花。



附:恋爱12条

1.对待大学里的爱情,要客观的看。你们在一起,不一定要有一个目的和目标,
未来是未知的。不要嚷着别人什么都对你负责。

2.不要为了摆脱寂寞,轻易在一起,要对别人的真心负责,要让你的爱对得起良心。

3.对待恋人要信任,要不就别把他当恋人。

4.两个人谈恋爱的经费,最好共同承担,女生不该让男生一个人承担。


毕竟他爱你,不是欠你的。这样,就算分开了,也不会因为钱的事尴尬。

5.既然是因为爱在一起的,就认真经营这份感情,付出能付出的,结果不重要,善始善终。

6.对于暗恋般的感情,没把握就别去捅破,时间久了,你就看淡了,成长了。

7.你爱的人也是普通人,懂得原谅他们犯的错误,懂得接受他们指出你的缺点和不足。

8.男生不要轻易说出与承诺有关的话,

女生不要轻易做需要别人承诺或负责的事。学会在某种程度上,保护好自己。

9.面对别人不素的表白,耐心的倾听,不接受但尽量少的伤害别人。

10.即使爱的火热,也要给自己和对方一个空间,让你们看得清楚,活得自在。

11.对恋人的父母长辈朋友,表现地敬重而虚心。这是一个有素质的人该做的。

12.分了手,就别去打扰彼此的生活。见了面,不要苦大仇深,大方地笑一下也不会死。

PS:上了色的,都很有道理……学着做到。人活着,简单就好。我学着简化人生,轻视人生,但不轻生。简单爱,简单就好……

Friday, July 2, 2010

倒霉

人在倒霉的时候,伤心的事总是会接二连三地发生……

Thursday, July 1, 2010

等待

等待一个人,静静的坐着
不需要任何点缀
身边的空气会因愉快的心情亮起来

等你,变得污浊
视线空气触感味道
全都苦不堪言、甚至恶心

失去了当初的,丁点芳香
狂撒芬芳剂,掩盖事实
骗得了别人骗不过自己的心

完美的瓶此刻仍完好,看似
瓶内却早已被腐蚀
等待的只是丑陋小虫恶心地钻出瓶

等待,仍需自个儿等待
品味独处的滋味
全然不知心魔在潜伏

等待,仍在等待
慢慢的,弥漫的香味
杀除了魔,原来一直都在

等待的拯救,终于
原来身边一直都有各种口味的味道
有恶心的,但是香味从来不曾离开过

朋友,一直没有离开过
在自己消失味道那刻
才顿然闻到朋友的味道吧

知心的朋友
讲的就是这种吧
香香地,让人心旷神怡,充满活力……

等待,承诺了自己
等待一个人的咖啡、苦涩不已
喝完咖啡,不慕然回首……

不再回首灯火阑珊处,
不会孤单的离开,
潇洒随着味道,环绕着的味道,离开是非之处。

Monday, June 28, 2010

生日密码

8月10日出生的人最吸引人的特质,是他们的活力与幽默感,同时他们也是很值得信赖的人,一点也不轻浮毛躁,这种天生的诙谐本事……

天生的,原来我搞笑的天份。^^

当他们感到受人重视时(可能是他们所爱的人或所亲近的人),他们也会毫不保留地奉献出自己。

一直以来都不明白这话……现在有些许明白了。太傻了,有来世,别在这天出世。别再毫无保留的奉献,这是一种风险,伤得彻底的风险……

出生于这一天且资质比较优越的人,大概要到40岁以后才能够充分明白独处的重要性。清楚地了解自己,是他们最重要的生命课题……

清楚了解自己,很难。从来没有了解过自己,没有试过去了解。不懂自己的情感,不懂自己的极限,不懂自己才是该保护的东西。是时候了解自己了,不然就等逝世了也没人了解。40 岁吗?惨~

整天做着不切实际的白日梦。

没错,爱做白日梦。醒醒吧~ 想太多东西了,其实不必想那么多,像自己的事就好,不必为人打算。要是脑有一天能完全休息就好。想象力太丰富了……

具有言辞上的天分,最好不要选择整天坐在办公桌前的工作。如果能时常从他人媾得到批评指教,对他们的成长将有莫大的助益……

没错,我顶不顺闷闷的生活!要我坐着不动,不时要我命?批评是我此刻最需要的东西。骂我,或许,我会更容易原谅我自己。

一般人很难了解8月10日出生的人的内心世界,虽然他们也很想找个可以倾诉的听众,却根本无法敞开心胸谈论个人的心事。因此,只好将注意力放在公众生活中。借此获得自我的肯定。假若工作表现不被赏识的话,今天出生的人就会觉得十分苦闷,如果一再遭受拒绝,更会变得有点愤世嫉俗。因此,培养坚强的信心,不让自己随着别人的看法起舞,不仅对他们非常重要,还能加强他们信任别人以及与别人分享的能力

不是别人不了解自己,是自己不让别人了解吧~愤世嫉俗嘛~还好。信心,别人一直以为我信心超标,其实我自信心很低。完全不信自己,所以才会不信别人吧~ 信任??有待考虑……你越相信某个人,你就越大机会被伤害……

zhichee in nightmare

Omg...really nightmare...
我从来不知道,一个人可以凄惨落魄到这个地步。
我以为的,全都不对。可悲……

曾经对一个人说过,抽血不害怕。鼓励他抽血,因为担心。然而,自己抽血,就真的有些许不一样了。我绝对不害怕抽血,看惯医生抽血,没有特别的感觉。上个星期,抽血也没有特别的感觉。有一些些刺激,看着血缓缓地抽进针筒,有少许的兴奋。

但是,但是!今天不一样!因为要做四个报告,护士小姐说,:“amoy,empat test, kena ambil bayak darah ooo~" 就懂他心怀不轨。看着她拿出特大号的针筒,我的心都快跳出来的。果然没错,之前问医生是不是只需要抽一次,他说当然。果然…一次抽那么夸张,分明老天注定要玩我。对面那男生,可以请你关上你裂开的嘴脸吗?

是蛮好看的你,懂你好运,可以在政府医院做attachment。但是你真的面目可憎!之前等号码时,与他聊了一会,以后的药剂师,so? 拿到海外奖学金,so? 关我何时?我嘴唇白需要你让位给我坐meh? 你看不到aunty,uncle 他们站着吗?心情已经不怎么好,你还要我应酬你。烦!真的很想叫你静静,但是我很有文化,忍!

结果,看到我害怕的表情,你就在掩嘴偷笑。很坏的丑男生!虽然很痛,我死也不能露出痛的表情。护士小姐,你也是的,那只特大号的针筒,已叫我冒汗了,你怎么抽那么久?那只针,还要转来转去。你不知道我很痛吗?我的天,眼泪在眼内打框,我死也不会流出来的。望望天花板,我忍!拜托你快点,对面的那个人,就快要笑到窒息了。护士,别碎碎念我的学很难抽……随便抽了就算啦。

好不容易,完了。我偏偏要留在那里,看那家伙被抽血的模样。很不公平,我的syringe de diameter is like a bit bigger than 20 cents, his syringe is 5 cents punya size. super unfair!!! 无言… 不想与他有任何瓜葛,我很潇洒地走去另边的医院。途中,昏昏的…应该是被抽太多血了。我的手是痹的。而且痛的。还看得到针孔……

很巧,在医院遇到舅舅,他带即将动手术的阿姨来看麻醉师。而我要看专科医生。在等的途中,舅舅问我认不认识某个人。好巧的事。偏偏现在的我,不想懂。命运吧……五月天,有首歌,有这个词,最怕突然听到你的消息~ 我现在只想休息……

回家,还要打扫,为了姐姐,陪她一起颠~ 明明此刻的自己不适合打扫,为在乎的人,我总是只懂得付出……算了,我笨…… 开心就好,他们~


PS:不是在骗,真的很痛。以后,看到特大号的针筒,朋友们,逃吧!!!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

抄经

最近身边发生太多太多事了,有些些措手不及呢~呵呵……
抄经吧~让心静下啦……
为跌倒的婆婆、为即将动手术的阿姨、为失魂的姐姐、为刚患病的叔叔、为失恋的远方朋友、为六神无主的表姐、为无能的自己祈福吧~

PS:心中的寄托是很重要的吧。有个信仰总比没有的好。我知道,很多人都不相信神,但是我感性,不理性,想要相信,你又奈得我何?以前就很爱佛学,入营时还跟师傅切磋看法,显得我比起师父还是有短距离。最近又很想入营,但是,有哪个营地要老人?哈哈哈……还是位菜鸟老人==lll等不再繁忙,不再犹豫,应该会回去佛光,帮忙。虽然我总是帮倒忙,哈哈哈……但是开心就好,有我这捣蛋鬼,加超强等级的开心果,应该有多几分欢笑吧~(不好意思,我又为我的‘伟绩’飘飘然)不写了,要抄经了!!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

quote#1

life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger...

(added : stronger ,tougher and more mature )

排毒

明明,昨晚吃不下任何东西。
作呕,是哥哥昨天给我的病状名称。
泻肚,是今天确确实实发生的症状。
明明被公公拒之门外,
好不容易见到,今天又那么早把我赶走。
明明就没有东西可以吐,
最多都是胃药,不知名的液体
明明就没有东西可以泻,
是身体自己,身不由衷
很自然得想排毒
像作呕,forcibly push something foreign and harmful substance out from the body,so the body wont be harmed or further hurt. It is the most direct way to remove the substance from the normal system of the body.
哈哈,很不错……
书还是有读到,是太年轻了。
终于,能往梦想前进,大学有个很贱嘴的胖男生,一直叫我减肥,明明就不会很肥,还要一次又一次伤我。现在,他给我的,终于能让我瘦下来。^^
我想,现状维持下去,能让朋友大吃一惊吧~ 瘦瘦瘦 48 kg, 我来也。

Thursday, June 24, 2010

心死

人,心一死,甭想挽回。懂,你的去向,选择,就不再犹豫。不再伤神思考不必要的问题。种子,在你不怀好意的灌溉,在心中扎根。要痊愈,很难、会花段时间。但是只要狠狠的连根拔起,就能完全断了此情。会很伤,但岁月会消磨掉。

反正,平行线不会交叉,只是代替品。反正,付出得再多也得不会回报,那么就别再傻傻付出。你值得更好更优秀的人,因为你比他们两人都优秀^^

既然心一意决,就好好的干吧!

attachment

Everyone is talking about their attachment recently. Well, im not going to those well furnished government nor private hospital. Where am I now? I am just at a little clinic, a policlinic. Everyone has their awesome stuff like, they saw some colonoscopy, urine test or blood test...I dont have this!! what i saw maybe just some injection and taking blood sample and measuring blood pressure.

Not to forget, The neurofibrosis patient. That patient actually brought her grandchild to seek the doctor. I was just so lucky that able to saw her. Dr Siew very nice, he explain to me the detail of this disease. I used to be a naughty and curious student in the class, but i just too afraid to ask doctor question that i wished to ask. Maybe because for me, doctor is too 'huge' for me to disturb.

Most of the time, i was just standing there and observed the way he face and communicate with the patient. As you know, i had my attachment in policlinic, don't expect there will have some interesting stuff there. Rarely will have special case, it was just common cases most of the day. Patient taking MC, measuring blood pressure , measuring blood glucose level.... But in the clinic also, i saw something that was too usual that was unusual in hospital. The relationship between doctor and patient, i guess.

At first, i quite scare to go to clinic. But you know, the nurses there ae super duper nice. Well Mrs. Siew is kind too. Glad to know them. They treat me really nice and one nurses even treated me like her child. What she taught me wasn't the way to take pills, collect pill, dispense pill and identify the pills. What is taught me is the way to become a student, a medical student, a human. I cannot doubt her ability to change me from a quiet, only standing girl to a girl that is more 'talkative'. Thank to her. I know for my knowledge level now, to ask deep question wasnt suitable for me. Besides, I know too much things now also useless as i most probably will forget the next moment. What i need to learn wasnt the scientific knowledge. this kind of knowledge i will learn in degree. What i learn right now was more mental side...

I dont know what i am doing now.. and i dont know where am i now. But i know i will continue learning as much things as possible in this following days. I will appreciate this oppurtunity, and try not to waste it!! I dont know whether i will choose to study medicine next year and take doctor as my career, but at this moment , i still want to try...still want to follow this path...untill the moment i want to change. Before that monent reached, i will still work hard, because this is my will.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

保佑

为什么病魔会选择她?
为什么总是那么的不公平?
为什么为什么为什么?
老天……

我不想听到这消息
有谁能告诉我这是梦吗?
不想听不想听不想听!!!

为什么总爱作弄人?

但该面对的总须面对
愿天庇佑,这次能平安没事
愿化疗过程能轻松些
希望,不要再有伤心的是出现在我身边了!
累了

但这话不应出现在我口中
还有比我更累的人……
天,观音娘娘,请你多多保佑!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

父亲节

爸爸,对我而言是一个很神奇的人。因为他的精子,造就了我的身体。他的灵魂精神,推砌了我的性格。他是位我很喜欢的人,也很在乎的人。很感激爸爸的存在,没有爸,就没有我这个任性的笨蛋~

我传承了爸爸的幽默感,但没有爸爸那份刻苦的精神。爸爸超幽默,有次买了我爱吃的矮瓜(茄子),我吃了很多,他竟然告诉我说,:“琦,我懂你很喜欢吃,但是你吃酱多,我怕你会变矮!”我无言……原来吃矮瓜,人会变矮==

他最近变得很调皮,很爱整我、酸我。因为我从小就讨厌别人的口水,有次不小心伤了爸爸的心。拒绝吃爸爸吃过的食物,结果他狠狠的凶我一顿。最近,他记得这件事,当我要吃它吃过的粽子时,他竟说:“我吃过的hor,有我的口水……”天!需要酱吗?我难得肯逞强的吃爸爸吃过的东西,你还要酱酸我……==''爸爸,你太可爱了!

曾经,告诉爸爸,以后要嫁给爸爸般的人。学历、成绩不重要,最终要像爸爸,刻苦用心不气馁。还有,爸爸超爱妈妈。整天在我面前18禁。亲吻走远点>< 搞得爸爸,欢喜得很…………

曾经,伤害过爸爸,很深很深。我深深觉得。现在想补救,但很难……很后悔当初的无知。爸爸是那么的伟大,那么的无私,那么爱我宠我,我竟然。好欠扁的自己。

爸爸,父亲节啊。不要老是羡慕母亲节。你也很重要!慈父严母的家,父亲怎会不重要?你们俩一样重要><所以,一样的疼爱你们俩~ 别吃醋了拉~ 爸,父亲节快乐,你几时要履行诺言啊? 父亲节的礼物嘛~哈哈,我很穷耶~我懂你在意的是什么,尽量吧~

父亲节快乐,爸。愿您永远年轻靓仔、财源滚滚、身体健康最重要!还有,
爸,我回来了~

Saturday, June 19, 2010

cheers

When we Do not want somethings to happen,
It will happen eventually...
No matter what,
Dont feel depressed...
People may be dont have the intension to hurt you,
They dont have the evil thoughts
They just care for you!
And the CARE accidentally hurts....
Appreciate it and try not to get angry over it..
Everything will be fine..
Its not the end of the world!
If still bad, then it was just not the end yet!
Thank for everyone that care for you..
Simply because they still willing to care you.
Nobody will care for those they dont love..
They will only care for their loves...
It is lucky to be loved by someone ^^
So...cheers~

Friday, June 18, 2010

不想懂得

东西太多  挤坏脑
想得太多 人会疯
选择逃离  自欺法
不想懂得 保护罩

还能选择就该选择
逃离逃避管他怎说
自己快乐幸福就好
不舍不愿也得完成

是谁惹谁言不由衷
不去重来抱怨自艾
说谎伤害不安犯错
不想失去不想懂得……

PS:人就是会有想逃离的时刻,遇到这些越是煎熬的时刻,就越该坚强。不想懂得,是很幼稚的做法,因为聪明的人永远都只能不想懂得,而却往往都懂。讨厌自己的敏感,只会是愚昧的做法。选择面对,说不定会遇见自己的另一片天。勇敢会带来收获……坚强会带来运气。挨不下去,找信任的人诉苦,整装自己,换心情出发,旅途就会更简单快乐。很多东西,都不是错,不用害怕,不用担心,不用认为自己贱。诚实面对,坦诚以对,从实招来,说不定比匿匿藏藏更为有效。匿藏只会引导说谎,说谎会带来伤害,到头来仍保护不到自己不想失去的东西,回归于零。相信自己,相信他,相信我说的话……

病态

身体状态没有想象中的好
似乎有每况愈下的感觉,
已经有征兆而我却选择忽视
现在自讨苦吃……笨

人体一天能造多少血?
妈她很担心我
可怜我妈,担心姐姐,还要担心我。
不想她为我操心、心烦
想要快快好但欲速则不达
这等事不能着急……

中医西医都没用
很懒看医生,他们又不帅
若有个帅到掉渣的还不赖
可妈妈很担忧,典型的
皇帝不急太监急

为了确保我有康复
不让我那么快回学院
还叫爹爹专车在我回去。
受宠若惊,极度

近日很病态的胃痛
每日胃痛也不懂胃搞什么
有人诅咒我想,
嫉妒我太笨了吧~

病态的胃病很恐怖
比流感更叫我害怕
你能想象胃药的用量吗?
每晚睡前会胃痛的定律
从不缺席的高调驾临
让我快昏了……

不是没吃东西,
但却因胃痛变得有些厌食
吃东西会作呕
闻香味会想吐
这必定是近日体重异常下降的缘由

不敢告诉爹娘
担心他们担心
但纸包不住火,
他们知道胃药那么快消失一定会起疑心
管它的,到时再说,
见一招拆一招……

其实,只是想说
我很健康啦~真的,比金更真!
甭担心,你瞧,我还是很健康的活着!
能吃能睡能说能玩能跳能装摸做样能逗你们俩开心~
你有看过那么健康的人吗?
甭说我嘴唇怎样怎样,脸色怎样怎样,走路怎样~
那时我异于常人的生活方式~ 酷!
所以,我是健康的!哈哈哈哈~

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

dilemma

Want to continue? or just End it?
don't know ar....
Just let it be ba....
Let god to decide my way of life....
'leaching or retain...'
nobodys know...
whatever...
who minds?
DUN CARE

Thursday, June 10, 2010

人因梦想而伟大 我就想伟大一次
至少在我进入二十岁前……

这梦做了很久
现在是梦想,
实现了就是事实,
不去闯就是发白日梦。

这次敢敢地豁出去吧
人生青春很短,
虽然此刻圆梦有些迟
而且只能维持两年,
但是还是想试一试,
妈咪也认同了我的任性……

任性一次
才不枉妈妈的认同……

梦,
我来了,
这次你不会抛弃我吧~
奔跑吧~孩子……

PS:青春就是能让人热血沸腾,梦就是能让人为之一振……热血的干一场好戏,让身边观戏的人瞧吧~

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

选择

没时间,也不想写太多
纯粹想说
选择权不在你哪里
或许你想你难以抉择
但是,你可省下一笔麻烦了……

ABC有我选
你没有权利主宰我的人生
我才是我道路的开拓者

不需等你,容忍
潇洒自在较适合我倔强的个性
不用担心会否有个跌倒的影子
因为放下,懂得放下才是王道

不想当炮前灰,
所以选择退缩
躲到友人肩下
品味他们的温暖……

Saturday, June 5, 2010

笨女孩 @ stupid girl

如果你没有钱,那你一定得漂亮!
 If you don;t have money, then you must be pretty!

如果你不漂亮,那你一定要聪明!
If you are not pretty, then you must be smart!

如果你连聪明都没有,那---------
If you aren't even smart, then.....

你就是天使!
You are the ANGEL!

笨笨的女孩儿其实更容易得到幸福
Girls that are noob, and silly usually easier to get their happiness

因为老天爱笨小孩!
This is simply necause GOD LOVE STUPID CHILD !


可惜,我样样半桶水,
没啦,我连半桶水都没有,
说笨,我又不够笨,
怎能,XXXXXX?
   
PS:开心就好,哈哈哈哈……
整装自己,重新出发……

Monday, May 31, 2010

有多少位女生,不对肥这字闻风丧胆?别说别人了,我这不怎么女性化的人,都害怕。啊,有更好的例子,我的数学老师,还为了减肥而节食。可见,人,对胖这字多害怕了。

可是很多女生都不懂,他们其实不算胖,他们是刚刚好,中等的身材,多让人羡慕。她们一直一直在我耳边,说我这星期又胖了。真的有种欲望,想锤她几拳。好让他知道什么是肿。

有人说,女生一大半的生命花在减肥,拼命的减。仿佛看见骨,才是美。他们都不知道,杨贵妃拥有的是臃肿的身材!减啊减啊,终于瘦了,才甘愿。她们都不知,其实原本的她才是最美的。现在整幅排骨,气色也很差,穿衣服也不如以往来得吸睛。但是,她们却自得其乐。这就是女生。

我姐,她瘦到~~~ 我爸说,腰都要断了。好像蜜蜂的腰。但是,她还是不满意,直说:“我的脸怎么这么大?琦,作磨你的脸这么小?”天,我好想飞上天空,再狠狠的坠在他身上。她可不可以,看看我身上的赘肉后才说?很欠打!连我妈,都忍不住讲我,“北地,你做运动啦!”== 我懂我胖,能不能不要将直接?英文有个字叫 H-U-R-T。

咳,该做的,还是逃不了。我知道要减肥啦~!我懂我懂,但是眼睁睁看着心爱的食物不吃,会遭天谴啦~要我做运动,你又不是不懂我懒……或许真的是时候运动了。不然,又会被他酸。一直讲我该运动,要讲回他,就得运动!!瘦瘦!我不贪心,只要BMI是underweight就行了。^^

PS: 我好像,有点贪心。。。不理啦~ 最近,不懂是秤坏了,还是我真的…哈哈。

Thursday, May 27, 2010

开心的理由

若我说我今天很开心,你会相信吗?我真的很开心,因为两个原因。
我学会了一件事,真的。谢谢你,让我下定决心,完成那件一直以来都完成不了的事。这次,真的要做到了!谢谢你 >.< 也谢谢你,让我明白了事情的真相,哈哈哈,虽然结局不像我想象中的那样,但是始终是有逻辑性的吧!好啦,不想让你为难了啦。这阵子,为难了你,让你烦了,真的很不好意思。以后,我会学着你说的那样,远离手机的。(想想,手机有辐射!!)虽然手机不是拿来传简讯、拍照,但是,我还是会用手机来听歌。。。呵呵呵,没法,我没有随身听。

另一件事是,我要打包东西了~ 哈哈哈,回家咯。在这里,没有读到书!!完全没有碰到书!一直睡觉,早知道就回家。(姐姐在家嘛~难得她回家,不想她跟我逼在一间房间)但是,又不能不见她,她会骂我没良心!姐姐他,还是爱我的嘛~哈哈哈,还有他要送我手表~wuhoo。两年的生日礼物!哈哈哈。今年的生日还没到,他应该不打算三年的一起送就好。哈哈哈哈……说到底,还是想用回多年前,我得奖小说的题目,啊,回家的感觉真好~

还有,我很好。^^ 甭担心我了。

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

重生


是自己的
想要做什么
就做什么


是与我不同的宿体
我无权管你


是我们都没法
触碰的个体

我是
你们任何人
都不许刺破秘密
请别拨开我的心

今天
我想重生
在得知了一些事后
我想做回  那件事
重新从石头里堋出来
从新过活

想要过得将就xie
才发现将就不容易
学着乐观
学着面对
学着较为高尚的逃离

孤单变成习惯又如何?
寂寞,我一直都在享受着寂寞
自由和落寞之间
哪需要换算?
只要习惯就好
不需要心烦意乱
不需要看着天空找答案
因为答案不会在你抬头看后就出现
不用不安
因为你终会习惯

不用,因为你就是不用
因为你
会重生……
不用说
因为那时说不出口的倾诉……

PS:我也不知道自己在写些什么…思绪有些乱,语无伦次再次出现。原因,又是一样吧。

天真

有人说,我是天真的。我希望我不是,因为天真的人,往往只有被欺负的份。或许是一直以来,我都太轻易相信别人,今天后,应该不会再那么傻了。

一直都以为自己是特别的,但是是自己太天真了。你,一样会告诉别人,你告诉我的事,就算你说别跟别人说。天真地我,真的不提一字,直到我发觉,你也告诉过他你告诉我的事。

原来,对你来说,我不是特别的。
原来,你对每一个人都是那么样的。
原来,我们很不同,思想
原来,我们很普通
原来,一直只有我一个人。

我一直以来,对你而言只是可以利用的人吧,或是认识的人而已,还是只是一个路过的人、路人甲而已……好可悲,现在才理解到这点。

一直以来,别人都告诉我放弃比坚持来的难,我想,我是例外。面对没有把握的事,我很容易就说出放弃这词。是自尊心强烈吧,不想失败,情愿放弃。或是,逃避……天真,不会再天真地相信你了。

好想回到过去,回到那个自己,十七岁的自己。

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

我不想念

某个城  某条街  某一条小巷
某一个晚上  某阁楼 微微灯光

某个人 默默关上 某心房 某扇窗
跟没有人 说晚安

夜 从前从来没这麼长
床 荒凉的就像没有边疆
失眠 是枕头之上无尽的流浪
天 永远不亮

某空港 某车站 某个下一站
某一扇车窗 某风景 唤醒惆怅

某南方 摇摇晃晃 某海洋 某艘船
谁没妄想 有天堂
当 人活成了一棵仙人掌
掌 心的泪却还是滚烫
每当 抚摸那些天真致命伤
恨 不能健忘

我不想念 不想念 他模样
我不想念 不想念 那时光
那些快乐 和悲伤 却总在我身旁
我只愿长夜将尽天快亮


要是,能那么简单就不想念就好了
听说,想念人的念头是制止不了的
要是,不曾有过那么一个人
那么,现在夜晚是否会短些?
要是,不曾有过温柔
可是,世上没有如果

残忍,是温柔之后的忽略
挣扎,是残忍之后的心软
卑微,是挣扎之后的求饶
感动,是卑微之后的果实
天真,是感动之后的温柔

Friday, May 21, 2010

我很好

有人说,现在的人
都很习惯性地问候别人
“Eh,你好不好?”
但是我们都很少问自己
最近好不好

慢慢地,
我们很容易的说出
‘我爱你’
但是
我们越来越难
诚实地
诚恳地
真心地
说出
“我很好”……

“我很好”似乎成了
我们最常穿带
的面具……

就算跌倒了,伤痕也要是一种骄傲。
就算受伤了,头也要抬得很高,这样眼泪才不会流出来。

为什么有些人喜欢藏感受?
为什么不满却不说?
躲躲藏藏地,我又怎知道你在想什么?

藏感受,是我的专利
你要藏,可以
给我版权费!!!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

欲说还休。

现在的孩子们
都很早熟
我很想认老
但是,在他们的面前,
我好像很幼稚
当然,我所谓的早熟
不是真正的成熟
而是那些的熟

有很多,都没事拿事来烦
是确确实实的犯贱生物
他们,烦的事都很深奥
想要给与意见
但是我却毫无经验给
还是静静地听
比较适合我,
谁叫我在这科是蹩脚虾……

你们可知,
很多东西你们是可以不去想的
你们想太多了
把自己想得太可悲了
我还是喜欢清纯的中学生活啊

辛弃疾说的不是没有道理的
少年不识愁滋味
爱上层楼
爱上层楼
为赋新词强说愁

而今识尽愁滋味
欲说还休
欲说还休
却道天凉好个秋

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

august born

Facebook test....=.=
just post here for fun....cause quite true nie....
Especially born to be successful....

Brother

哥哥在女朋友面前就不再是哥哥!
哥在他女朋友旁边不再是我的人!
至少不是我哥〉。〈

他是个见色忘妹的哥哥
可怜的我
我不是吃X
绝对不会

只是那个猪头哥哥
竟然,背叛我
拿走了我的
可爱的面包。。
我饿肚子也不要吃你剩下的那个餐包 blek


闹别扭的妹  被哥抛弃的妹

PS: I know u can read , purposely wrote for u to read... xp..haha....my lovely bread

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

午后,冥想化为行动

下午,雨很大,很是倾盆之雨
心中的雨也比不上屋外的骤雨

静静地,呆在门前观雨、听雨、闻雨、品雨
没有丝毫倦意、读书之意、睡觉之意、吃饭之意
只是静静地,静静地观雨

雨能净化心灵吧
雨是菩萨降下的吧
雨能静心吧

很烦,只听雨,解不了心头之闷
选择,去淋雨,以解开心中之石

傻傻地,一个人,呆在雨中
让雨亲吻我的脸颊
抚摸我那稍短的黑发
雨流入衣内
湿透我全身
游走每一寸肌肤

这一刻,心是静的
这一刻,泪是干的
这一刻,并没有特别的快乐

--------------------------------------------------------------
走到流水最强的地方
呆在下面
以微痛的水量
敲击后肩

呆着呆着
担心上边有砖头落下
掉下来,敲破我的头
走到芒果树下
又怕被芒果打倒
我可不想当牛顿
回家冲凉吧~

PS:meow,别告诉我妈,否则我会死得很难看,因为…好像有点着凉了.. hahahahhaha haha 喝多点水>.<

Monday, May 17, 2010

blue blue

今天的天空是灰色的
呼吸的空气是缺氧的
眼前的画面是模糊的
耳边的声音是嘈杂的
肌肤的触感是厌恶的

不管你是否做了决定没告诉我
让我在惊讶中察觉
你已不存在的事实

不管收获与感想如何

现在的心情是蓝蓝的……

Friday, May 14, 2010

羽球·球员·儿时

可惜是可惜,但是这时早已定下来的成绩,谁叫你们要输日本?
要是当初没有输日本,那么现在,马来西亚要对抗的就是印尼,而不是那么强大的中国了~

要是你问我支持谁,我理所当然的会告诉你,我支持林丹。毕竟林丹会获胜的几率是大国李宗伟很多。但是,观赛时,是因为我潜在的大马子女心作祟吗?我看见lcw那么用心在挣扎,我不忍心要他输耶~我会为他祈祷,他进球,我会尖叫,会兴奋、会开心…我想这都因为他的用心吧。

林丹,他真的太太强了。他的球技让我太震撼了,真的不只人帅,球也酷。接球的人真的会哭……很抱歉阿~lcw。要是你没有跟林丹打,我一定会百分之百支持你的。但是,你的对手是林丹!! 林丹啊~要我怎么帮你?以前,08奥运,我也是支持林丹,哈哈哈,不好意思涅~
刚获胜~~ ^^


林丹,帅爆镜。获胜后的那段超酷舞蹈,让人神魂颠倒了嘛~肌肉也超赞的!不会太过壮,恰恰好^^真的,过后看见我哥没穿衣,我毫不留情的叫他穿回衣去,别丢人现眼~好坏的我>.<



林丹跳霹雳舞~
 林丹,真的很棒,很有神,很够杀,很有让人却步的气势。可能是因为他的眉毛吧~让他有种不能言语的杀气。就像,老虎猎物前,散发出的味道一样。就是这种危险的味道,深深地吸引了我~ 哈哈哈。。。 谢杏芳,好幸运~ 哈哈,祝你们永远快乐!


weettttttttt~~~~~~
超级丹与谢杏芳~超级sweet的合照~>。<
但是阿,林丹,你能不能稍微温柔些= =lll


经典hor~ 两人一起打羽球>.< 难得的笑容阿~林丹。



私下的林丹,还蛮可爱的~hahaha

很喜欢这张,哈哈哈,两位都很强啊~








还一块儿,拍广告呢~甜啊~蚂蚁都快来了……

林丹,一个字棒~好想去看你哦~哈哈哈38拉我。。不好意思……下次,我想,……我还是会支持你啦,谁叫咱们都是炎黄子孙?哈哈,我们有着同样的肤色,淌着同样的血,吸着同样的空气,我一定要回中国,当我有深厚的成就。。一定!!!

wch打得也有点精疲力尽了吧,毕竟那么老了,哈哈^^从我小学,我就看他打球到我进大学。人老了就是不中用,很可悲的事实。每个人都回老,他,很可怜。经验充足,也有技巧,但是就是心有余而力不足。没有力气阿~很欣赏他,终生化在羽球。他当配角,当得太久了,但是,从他脸上,完全没有怨天尤人的感觉。人,就是由当主角,和当配角的人。主角是需要配角,才能凸显他的重要性。wch有做到配角的角色。陈金,不是很喜欢他,很凶。哈哈~不过是位有才能的人,不然何德何能能当上第二种子?比较起陈金,我还是比较喜欢鲍春来。帅~哈哈哈,也有技巧。

bcl我朋友朝喜欢他的,说他流汗时,超级帅。她不会写华语字,但是却会写鲍春来的名字,很讽刺阿~不过,鲍春来真的挺帅的。要是他不是第三种子就好了,那么就能看见他打球了。哈哈。

这些人物,都是我在中学时期,认识的人物。中学时,真的很喜欢看羽球啊~小学时,真的很喜欢打羽球啊~真的有很久没有碰过羽球了,从小学至今有七年了吧。哈哈,收了很久的羽球拍,去年也送了给人。算了,算了。忘掉吧,但是最近,想打羽球的心又蠢蠢欲动了。因为……不说,不说!希望手感,灵感能回到妈妈的身边吧,当我再次握起拍。不过,当场内小丑也蛮有趣的嘛,若回不来的话。可能会回家时伤心。哈哈哈,算了~