Recently, i really got no mood. I don't know why, i wish i can know it too but i just cant. When playing and fooling with friend around, i have fun. I can forget what troubling me, seriuosly. That is why recently i keep going out with my friends.
I actually always lack of confidence, im not sure whether they like me to join them or not. They seems like a big family and i was like a stranger, or just a far relative comes to visit them. They do treat me nice, although some will play trick on me. I dont really care too much when they teasing me. It is not that i enjoy teasing by them but at least at that moment i feel closer to them. Not just a stranger .
I quite scare they will not happy with my appearance. I scare they didnt show out they black face just because i am close with the two girls that thay all adore. I scare i spoilt their atmosphere. I know i think too much but that is me. i used to think too much.
Nevertheless, i really do enjoy going out with them. Honestly, i am quite happy. Dont know why, just happy~ it is because of fun? I feel like im being myself there although sometime i also got act a bit. They are like my secondary schoolmates, i can actually crazy with them unlike when i mix with another group. Im still not sure whether they accept me or not but i have to thank to them for bringing much fun to me. Love you guys....^^
PS: i will try my best to mix with you guy~ but most important is, i need to 'upgrade' my confidence level. In front of many people, i seems like very mature, understanding and confidence. but in fact isn't. I will still have childish thoughts, i am timid and lack of self confidence. I love myself but i guess is time for me to alter myself. wish me all the best~