Friday, January 22, 2010

lenka say trouble is a friend; i say friend is a trouble

I guess i reach the maximum....I really cannot stand it anymore...At first when i know her, i thought she is kind but now i realised i was absolutely wrong! Totally wrong! I always knw that i will have a wrong impression over someone, everytime i think she or he is kind, later he or she will turn out to be evil. This time, god doesn't play an exception. I met a devil once again.

I really thought she is very kind, I really treat her damn nice at first. trying to help her, to comfort her, to do what i can to help her. i knew, later my obsession had reduced, but i still treat her very nice. i told her all my stuff, told her every single personal thing till later she use it to satirize me. you gonna say i deserve it, is it? Why should i treat a stranger so nice?

Do you know what, last time she is still quite kind. At least not too bad. but now she is like adding up her evilness. She really think i easy to be bullied is it? I everytime tolerated with her is not because of i scare her...is just because i don't want to create any problems. But i really Cant stand it. She recently think she is very 'geng', dare to fight with us already.

I had told her many times that when peple ask me questions, sometimes i will treat them very bad. Is really very bad. I will scold her. During exam time, i already dont have much time to study and yet she keep asking me some silly question that i had answered her before. almost every queston i explained to her before when trial. On one morning, i really dont feel like teaching her i really got no time to study already. I just cant understand why she keep asking, cant she felt that i already not so willing to answer her? she still ask more and more and request for more. Sweat, then i told her i want to study. i got no time to study already. i know my tone will be a bit angry but it is normal for a student that havent finish their study. She turn out to be very angry. emo la. who scare u ? u got ask another poeple la. Most of the time i depend on myself.

then she shut my laptop on the next night, i guess so.is acidentally. that's why i actually not so angry about it. what i angrry is what she said later. Because i didnt bring my wire extension here, i got to use hers. She said if i dare then dont use her wire extension la. Well Well, the following days i really didnt touch her wire extension. So what? i can use the plug outside. I charged my phone outside. I got lot word inside my minds but i just keep it inside my heart. i dont want to say it out is because i dont even have the feel to quarrel. Damn sad right?

IF i dare to not use her wire extension, is it she dare not place her wire extension beneath my table? is she dare not to charge her phone under my table, producing the radiation shoting towards me. her wire extension is definitely not enough long, if din't place beneath my table then she can never use hers wire extenxion. all these things i don't want to say only. it is not because of i dare not to voice out, just i dont feel like there is a need to say out.

i really plan not to talk to her. then she said sorry to me and kept talked to me. I guess im quite soft hearted, that's why i didnt manage to do what i planned. Later, she didnt eat breakfast, she want use to accompany her to eat lunch on 11 am..crazy is it? that day got exam, chem 2 somemore. of course i dont want. who ask her not to eat breakfast? i dont want to eat,another girl also dont want to eat. how can she forced us to go out eat. we just kept quiet. then she was like a roared lion, shout, can i used shouted, yes, i can. she shouted want to eat or not? i very hungry.

Oh man, why should we sacrify our future for ur meal? then finally reach 12 something, i got ask her whether she want to go out ot eat or not? i had to say that, i'm really kind. dont know why,i dont have the responsibility to accompany her but just because im too kind, i scare she will too hungry till she stomachache....i mean gastric. but he already ask another girl to accompany her to go out .that moment is already about 12 30pm. i and another girl almost need to go out to eat. She try to become emo, asked her friend to accompany her to eat then just ask. but this made me feel very uncomfortable. i will feel that since you already got that friend, then just ask her la. Besides everytime i ask her to go to library she will always ask that frend to go out with her. It's fine. that will just made me feel like not asking her to go to library again. I dont want other feel like i follow them to go library.

If she so like that girl, then why she told me about her bad things. sometime i will wonder whether will she told her friend about my stuff...i know mostly got. and yet she ask me not to tell others. Actually i tahan this for long time. she is very sensitive. everytime she sms to me, i got to reply her. but when i sms her, she need not sms back to me. when i dont feel like sms back to her, she will show dark face.and even when another girl treat me better, she will envy. Gosh~ this just made me want to treat that girl better.then if we dont care about her, then she will run out from ths home and stay at another friend home. iknow she will say many bad thing about us to them. If i really want to ask her about this, most probably she will say no ar~ she will sure say "wo mei you"

As u know, i quite care bout study, then she always say like study not important, she dont understand why we so care about study. then do i ever questioned her why she say study not important. Seriously damn blurr.Everytimewhen i read or look at somethings quite different from her, then she will ask me to lend her.It is not the problems or lending, is just i wish if i lend to you, then u will lend back to me. but she didnt. the stuff the senior gave her she didnt lend us or let us read. i know i because the senior problems but ....haiz... actually that notes to very special also as i already read it long time before. i even got that copy and most of my classmates got it.

I dont know la, i just want to expressed it out. i maybe will take this easy, and pretend nothing happen but everything will change. i know. just now she also think she very hebat. Bang door la, who cares, i just be silence, u emo, i wont care for you, cause no mood for me to care u.hit table so what? say im degil, i admit. then  so what? i really dont care much already, scream as loud as you can, i wont care. im immuned. Everytime when i told you thing about that boy gangs stuff, you will just show irritating face. you dislike them but i like them. ya, they are a bit irritating sometime but they are not bad. they are all kind boy, i believe deep in their heart is kindness. But u always say u dont want to listen to their stuff but at that moment i was talking to another girl, just gossiping, you dont want to listen is your matter.

i actually dont planning to organised a birthday party for you. but as friend, i stand it first.i organised it while i still reading chem. but u seems like dont appreciate it. Say what your mood is bad. so what? really so what? i really damn frustrated. she like to talk about my personal stuff to other including guy. this is what i dont like. do i ever told other who she like? and the personal thing is really very damn personal. i didnt show any expression when she told other, but deep in my heart,the hurt is made. I wish i can be cruel.

she said another girl too stress and crying made her so stress. she dislke it. thn why she cry in front of me? is it im made from metal? i dont know.........seriously!!!

friend is such a unknown things for me....

PS:later, as i post something on facebook , she asked me to tell her what happening.She said sorry but many things is not sorry can solved. seriously. and i seriously no mood to tell her what is going on yet she forced me to say. I dont know how will this thing will go on, i dont have the mind to think about it.

PS: i found out, soon or later, i will not believe anyone, i mean friend. In ucsi, i really just have few nice friends. And these friends are all the friends i not so like at first. Got one girl, at first i do like her very much, but i never thought she talk the bad things about me behind me. i can never guess it till recently another people told me. Now is still good to her but, i know somethings had changed. the chemical between us wont be so reactive.

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