Saturday, February 27, 2010

annoyed? dont ask me...

心情不怎么好,最近。
为什么呢?我不懂
我真得越来越搞不懂自己了
人前人后的我,心情完全不一样。

任前,我总是很开心,
人后,我却很郁闷,心情超烂得说
为什么?你别问我……

很想出走
真得很想很想
我一直以来都不是好孩子吧
才会有那么叛逆的想法。

情绪变化无常,最近
是因为荷尔蒙失调吗?
身体好奇怪哦
医生却说一切正常
你为我做超声波时
我真得很想笑,
事实,我笑了
你看到了。。。

心情真得很蓝、烂…
很想有人来慰问我
不过不要哥他问
他一定说,bei bei di
有男朋友料哦?
要跟爸爸讲……
是腊肠佬吗?

天啊,我被腊肠佬这个词困了14 年
就因为小时后向他借作业温习
被哥哥讲料酱多年
明明是妈妈比我去借的……
无言……

啊啊啊啊……
好想去海边狂吼
好想去佛学营
跟中学朋友去……
回味当年青涩
却很纯真的友情。

PS:我从来没说,
      I LOVE YOU ……
     我亲爱的朋友
     爱死你们了拉

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

DeAtH.....

在医院挣扎6天 青年蚊症夺命


2010/02/23 1:38:14 PM

转载于南洋商报

(芙蓉22日讯)19岁华裔青年染患骨痛热症,在医院挣扎6天后病逝。

死者为家住亚沙再也花园的颜康荣,在斯里暗邦岸国中就读中六,今年将参加大马高等学校教育文凭考试 (STPM)。
颜康荣在本月11日(星期四)因发烧而到诊所求医,返家后却在农历除夕再发烧,被紧急送往芙蓉专科医院打点滴。
年初一他被证实染患骨痛热症,年初二血小板从85狂降到25,加上该院的O型血供应不足,随后转送到芙蓉端姑查法医院就医。
在端姑查法医院的加护病房接受治疗时,可能体内病菌感染,剧痛难忍,医生唯有给他注射麻醉药,避免遭受痛苦,一直到初五康荣呼吸困难,被迫使用插管及机械来呼吸,并转入深切治疗病房。
在20日(星期六)晚上,康荣的病情恶化,在经过抢救数个小时,於21日上午10时逝世。
父亲颜长顺接受媒体访问时,一脸忧伤忆述孩子病逝的事件。
在父亲眼中,康荣是一名非常孝顺及活跃的孩子,在假期时经常到店铺帮忙父亲。

颜长顺说,孩子对做生意深感兴趣,也善于交际,社交圈子也非常好,是一个非常有前途的青年,可惜壮志未酬,就与世长辞。
“孩子虽然正在就读中六,但已经开始计划未来,甚至表示若政府分派到比较偏僻的大学,他就到吉隆坡的私立大学就读,如拉曼大学。”

新年衣服没机会穿

在患病期间,整个家人为其病情感到非常忧虑,几乎不曾欢庆农历新年。他表示,当孩子躺在深切治疗病房内时,试问父母及家人怎么会有心情欢庆新年呢?

新年前到吉隆坡购买的新年衣服,康荣也没有机会穿。

他说,孩子经常在傍晚时分到附近篮球场打篮球,也不确定在哪里被蚊子侵袭,患上骨痛热症。

面子书留言让人心酸

颜康荣在接受治疗期间,每天有50多名亲到场探望,但亲友的千呼万唤,他却永远没法康复苏醒。

他在进院后,他的面子书(Facebook)却有60多个留言,呼唤他醒来、不要继续睡觉、醒来后请吃、给予承诺等。

最后他却不敌病魔,面子书上的留言却让人感到心酸,亲友只能在留下挽言:一路好走(Rest in Pease),流露对他的不舍之情。
当康荣病情恶化时,所有友人几乎赶过去医院探望他、呼唤他,可惜他一直昏迷,不曾清醒。
康荣的人际关系,在面子书上可见非凡,其朋友也在面子书上号召所有人出席明日的康荣出殡仪式,送他最后一程。

康荣生前是参与多项活动,是活跃童军及篮球健儿,也参与慈济的慈善活动,交游广阔,每年参与多个生活营,在朋友眼中是一个非常开朗及乐观的人,看见任何人脸上都会展现笑容。
皮肤较黝黑的他是篮球好手,曾在校内比赛中赢得多项荣誉;去年也随同该校童军团前往位于林茂县的拿督山(Gunung Datuk)。
病菌入侵无法捐器官
康荣逝世后,父母有意遗爱人间,捐出器官救助其他人,可惜康荣的躯体被病菌入侵,无法如愿。

康荣病情恶化时,感觉体内非常剧痛,不断的挣扎及翻动,在家人及医生制止不果后,医生唯有注射麻醉药让他昏迷。医生在最后时刻已经不再注射麻醉药,冀会回光返照清醒过来,可惜一直到逝世也没有醒过来。
据悉,医生在21日当天已经放弃,并要求拔开喉管,但被家人制止,深信康荣会清醒过来,可惜意志力支撑约10个小时后,还是撤手人间。

森美兰首宗夺命蚊症

颜康荣被证实为森美兰第一宗骨痛热症死亡病例!

根据森州卫生局消息披露,2010年森州共有410宗骨痛热症确诊病例,其中第5个星期是最严重,高达112宗、第6个星期92宗及第7个星期也是上星期共有62宗。

比起去年同时间只有174宗骨痛热症确证病例,暴涨超过135.6%,今年首7个星期的蚊症非常惊人。
  PS, 真的很想写些感想,心内的感受,但是现在还不是时机吧~明天明天明天……

Friday, February 19, 2010

*J....*

Hmm.. recently, i wore a ear ring that got a sign J.I guess Paul misunderstood already. haha, that was quite funny. He ask why i wear that ear ring, and i know he try to say something...rubbish...lol...
I got explain to him the real case, but i escape something too...i dint tell the whole story lar...paiseh ma.. > <

My family, got quite a lot funny experience. J is one of the story ^^. Almost abort me also another weird story..(luckily my mum didnt abort me XD)

J seems like got a relationship with my family. I forget when this happened, but i know is when i still very young~ before i pierced my ear...i pierced my ears when i was 6 years old. Hmm...I forget is that a monk or juz a 'dao shi', he suddenly request my mum to put christian name for us. Now, i feel quite weird as a monk or a dao shi wont ask chinese to put christian name as not the same religion. If really want to make changes on our name, sure is change my chinese name only....that's why i say this is a weird story ^^

He said if put , then our lives will become better. i doubting what he said actually. I dont believe name got that big difference...He give my brother jackie. At first we all dint bother this, but later when my bro started working, he had to used nickname to ease other. So now he is call jackie/jacky Chew...hahah...funny name...

My sister, he gave her a name too>< Jane..She seems like quite like the name but as she studied in high school, she prefer chinese name more. However, when she studied abroad at Singapore, NUS, she used that nickname as the people there all speak english~! then, she become Jane Chew now...hahah...honestly i quite like her name ^^

alright, i know you are curious about the name he gave me...i admit he got gave me too >< but i just never tell anyone...sound stupid the name for me...because the name dont suit me well...as the name too good ad..^^ haha...ignoring

That's why i have the ear ring...my sister gave me when i was 6 or 7 years old. just recently i pierced back my ear so i wear it...dont u see the ear ring quite 'old looking'? and actually got another letter is C..just i break it cause the ear ring too old liao...that's why i just wear one J...^^

JC sound like the nickname the sifu gave me...really the sound is almost same with the shortcut of my nickname....but i never use the name before la althought my chinese name always create difficulty for teachers to pronouce....keke.. and when derek create janet for me i quite shock..as J too...but i hate janet !!!!!!!! i prefer the name sifu gave ^^ i hate suzy too !!!!!

Hmm...now i just use chew zhi chee. i love my name, and i dont plan to change me...maybe one day i will use the nickname...maybe lar...

PS: if interrested with my name, then msn me lar,....i will tell you de

Sunday, February 14, 2010

chinese new year WisheS

新年快乐~又是新的一年了,一个字,爽~

有很多很多东西要写,但是呢,我很懒,心情太爽了,写不到这么多呢。时间也不是太早,不便写长的!简写简写!

新的一年有新的愿望,今年我又有新的期望了~!(对自己)
1.身体健康!不要在生病了!很辛苦…当药罐子不好!><
2.学业进步~惟有学业好,才有被半保证的未来… 才能帮人…
3.瘦下来~ 成天被人说胖,受够了!48KG以下!!
4.变得开朗一点,别再想东想西~会疯的…
5.要常常笑~就算在不怎么喜欢的人的面前,也要笑~但是,尽量控制,你懂得拉~
6.在班上尽量不要太常说话!安静!
7.用功些!别再泡电脑了!
8.对父母、兄姐好些~孝敬父母,听他们的话,别再顶嘴!
9.信任朋友多一些,虽然有些不能!
10.少吃肉,虽然本人并不是很喜欢食肉。多喝水,少食量,多运动!
11.避开是非。
12.对自己好些~虽然有时自己很坏,别再饿肚子,就只因为麻烦…

对身边的人
1.希望家人身体健康,事事顺意、生意兴隆、事业猛进、万事如意…
2.朋友们健健康康~ 学业好、人缘好、对我好、别再背叛我~
3。世界和平~ 国泰民安

终极目标~
1。开漫画店~连锁的!
2。买片大大快的地~建栋楼,让朋友、亲戚、家人、爱人与孩子一起住。
3。很有钱!
4。考试全甲~甲星有点难,尽量吧!
5。变漂亮~是女生的梦想吧~

Friday, February 12, 2010

if im stronger.......

Today, I shouldn't attend the class~ honestly, i dont want to admit that i fall sick. I always believe that my body get better and better, but obviously this is not the real case. My body still weak as those days. Can i say that my body get weaker?

I used to worried about my health problems. When i still in secondary school, i scared i will become blind as my eyes' degree had increased a lot. Later, because some reasons, i doubted that i got  diabetes. This actually trouble me for quite a long time as i darent tell anyone. I scared it is the truth. Finally, i told some people and found that i just scared myself only. The main thing that trauma me now is breast cancer, i had to admit that i love to think a lot thing that shouldnt. haha~ Ignore that.....

My health condition now was not a good sign. I wonder my immune system get weaker is it because of my hormone balance? I quite worry that one day i will die because of loss too much of blood..haha...ignore it.... Why i cant have a healthy life? i just want to be healthy~ why i always so weak! why my body so weak!!!

Today, i took ktm back to seremban. The train was packed with homo sapien...due to the chinese new year. i was one of the sardine in the tin...so packed, so suffer, feel like dying...
The guy are all devil! why keep pushing? im sicked yet u push and push. I shoudnt wear mask, then u will get affected by my virus...see you still want to approach me or not? ( i dont want to say that im moral by wearing the mask)

Im actually very angry with myself, if im stronger, then i will not face this situation. i feel myself like a small girl in the crowd. others kept squeezing me, and i just let it be...gosh why im so useless? why im lack of confidence? if im stronger, if im more like a guy, if im not like a weak girl.....im so weak, how could i protect others ? i cant even protect myself..i hate this ! i hate this type of me!! why so useless?

i hate one guy sat in front of me. he is quite fat, he kept using a weird view looking at me. See what? what is good to look at? am i look like a girl that need help? i dont need your help. although i look like going to faint, although i look like crying ,although i carrying heavy bags, but i dont need your help! you seems like need it more! please dont look at me like you looking at a young girl. i dont need sympatic!

i just want to be stronger, i want to be stronger!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if im stronger, i wont have these problems...it's only if im stronger

Sunday, February 7, 2010

appearance @ family @ fake @ laugh @ disgusting smile

Is the physical appearance very important? How important is it? Will anyone die because of it?

I don't really know why so many people so care about their physical appearance, about their look and their body figures. Honestly , i was one of them. I don't know why i want to slim down. I just want to slim down. I actually not sure whether i will have better look after losing weight. Maybe, i more suitable to this weight. Maybe, i will become very weak and look like a patient more than a doctor after i manage to cut down my weight.

Girls used to take slimming down as their entire life mission while guys used to go to gym to buid up their scary muscle. Yup, muscle is quite scary sometimes...haha. I will prefer those have just a bit muscle and bit fats. i cant stand the muscular man. I scare they will punch me, for no reasons. i scare they will slap me....dont know why i will have such weird thoughts.

Girl like slim. this is a fact in this century. Please dont ask me why, now i quite blur about this. Sometimes, i saw some chubby girls, i found that they have  quite good looking. I will prefer them to maintan they body shape as that are cute ^^ But, i dont know why i just want to slim down, no matter how. Im strange... Actually many people say im not that fat till i need to slim down so eagerly, but i just feel myself very fat. When you having bath, then you will know how much fat you have on your body. when you grabbing those fat, a hatred feel will come. i wish i can cut them off. hahaha.....

Honestly i dont really like my figures. i prefer those skinny girl although i might be called airport.lolz . Why i have such a strange thought? fat or slim was not that important. ugly or pretty was not a problem. tall or short is not a barrier. why people used to take it so serious? the most important thing is your heart. the inner beauty is the most important part of a human being. I wish i could be a better person. i hope i can be more generous but i really love my money.

Im not coming from a rich family, i just a bit better than a poor family i guess. But i love my family. not matter what i just wan to save money so that my family would live a better life. This thought always make my dad scold me.He unwilling to see me skip my meals just to save money. But he wont know the real reason, it was just sometime i forget to eat. and also i remember but i just too lazy to eat.These action worsen my gastric...haha. i know sometime im stubbon...im sory dad. i will try to change myself if possible.

I actualy dont want you guys wory about me. I am much more different from sister. Whenever she have problems, she will tell you. this make her seems like very troublesome and immature. I dont want you guys have this feeling towards me. I just want to maintain a good image. Whenever i have problems, I will keep inside my heart. I know im noob but i had no choice... I really dont want you think you have a weird daughter. I want you be proud of me, and this make me to study hard. i know im very lazy and sometimes you quite dissapointed.

Luckily, everytime, i will get a good result. I strongly understand that was just because im good in luck. It was not everytime also can be like that. I will try to change, dad. i will try to study harder, just to make you proud ^^ I dont wish you see the bad side of me. I know we are a family but i just too love you all. i really hope that you think that im a great child. Everytime i have problem , i will not phone you. During secondary school, when i have stress, i also cry alone in the locked room corner. I just want to carry all these stuff myself.^^ i guess i create a great image. you all think that im an optimistic girl and believe im very strong in the sense of mind.

i quite scare one day you will found out im not that happy and that is why i try to laugh always ^^ there is one phrase i love very much. Smile, smile and smile, nothing is so great~ and Smile,much more bitter tears, you can also hold in your mouth,and then slowly swallow down. I love to laugh as when i smile, you might know im fake, but when i laugh, you wouldnt know ....the louder i laugh, more real it is...

I wish my laugter can 'ganran' (influence) other, make other happy. the one need to fake and be sad just one enough^^ I quite happy when my plkn friend chat with me when she sad and told me that she miss my laugh. I wish i can bring happiness to others. And i believe i did it. Besides, when you laugh, you can actually ignore the pain you are having. you cant forget but you can ignore, No worry, im no longer the childish girl, i wont think about killing myself or even others. This thoughts are too immature, maybe at that time i was childish. If i died, who can bring happiness to other? the people arund me might miss my laughter....and for sure miss me also la.....hahah///lol

but, i think i will try to change myself dad. someone there know i was faking. it was quite embarrassing when he poke my secret out. whatever~ he also faking what, same 'species'..lol. At that time i dont care about him and his word and advices. But now, i guess is time for me to accept his advices. Okay sir, i will try to control.... but you also arh...some day some where saw you walking, please dont let me see your very fake smile....is disgusting lar...and ewwww

PS: I actually dont know waht im writting up there.....just write and write and write....totally ignore the title...crazy nie....run away from topic ad... but i guess this is the best part about blogging, can write whatever you want...no need to have resposible on it.... >,<

OS: dad and mum, i doesnt mean to fake in front of you , just i dont wan to make you worry abut me ^^ im really very very very sorry but do i have a choice?  shawty shawty shawty

Saturday, February 6, 2010

男女之别

最近看了一部戏,LASTFRIEND……
虽然才刚刚开始看,但是却有一番滋味在心中。我会害怕男生。看了几集后,我很明确的知道这一点。可怜的美知流,被男朋友暴力对待。我懂不是每一个男生都是那么样,但是就是会害怕。我想和男生做好朋友是真的,因为很多东西你能跟男生说却不敢对女生说,中学时期,我拜托了那位它好多次。现在也很想向他投诉,但是已经不能了吧。毕竟各自有各自的生活,我不想再那么依赖他!他对我应经太好了!加上,我俩现在真的很少见面,每次叫我出去,我都很懒惰,这点我很抱歉,你又不是不懂咱们出名了懒的啦~!哈哈……

所以,我很想在大学里找一个知心的男性朋友。纯粹是朋友。但是很难找吧!真的,附近没有几个是好的︿︿但也算了吧,一个人的我,也能过得好好地,最多,回家时,去他的家拜访下下,见见阿姨也好~吃吃炒米粉……哈哈~

害怕男生的同时,我开始害怕自己。对于自己的性取向,好想有一点点不对劲了。我竟然不排册lesbian的戏码。反之只有一点点喜欢。我是不是该……算了,时间会告诉我的。

homosexual is not abnormal, just you not used to it. Who say homosexual s a sickness?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

淋雨中

淋雨了 我
很喜欢
雨前的景色
人们  匆忙的步伐
坠落的树叶   牵着风婆婆的手
缓缓落下


近日 心情烦躁
还是 睡眠不足
在雨中的我
显得有点清新的味道
有点稚气

要是没有背书包
我想我会带雨中漫步
就算这是狂风暴雨
我也会放慢脚步我真的很喜欢雨
雨将一切灰尘洗净
雨也净化了我
心灵 生理

我知道我很可能会生病
毕竟我从来都不是健康的孩子
药我都吃习惯了
虽然至今还是不怎么会吞药
很低能阿  我懂

总之 被雨洗礼后的我
很清新 有点头昏昏
哈哈  没事的
您不必担心
也不必自责
开心就好了

若雨能溶化我
如风能带走我
假如不曾有我
那么您会不会更……

PS:不想写了!越来越搞不懂自己,明明开心的开头。。。

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

影响

我想我这个人真的很容易受别人影响,天啊~请不要在影响我了!
担心会因为别人而对某些人产生好感!我不想踢铁板~ 明明之前就不是这样的……我要的是很简单的事!我想要的只是朋友~

愿天保佑,请不要让我那么容易云力巾青! 我是很坚强的~ 意志坚定阿~
朋友就是朋友~ 担心ing~

笑笑就没事了~ wohoo