Monday, March 29, 2010

sun · star @ ni he wo

我真的比一般人来的强些,自尊心~
所以,对你的离开
我亦无动于衷~

曾经,你是我比较会给与注目的物体,
因为想帮忙你
现在,你好像不怎么需要我的帮助了
所以不挽留你

物体不再围绕太阳公转
物体转向另一个星体
是太阳不过强吧~

太阳不会就此停止绽放光芒
她仍需照耀需要她的人群

不过,今天开始
她不会 主动照耀他了~
她不想 照耀离去的人……

PS:她强大的自尊心,让她输不起
         不想捡别人的垃圾

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Alice In The Wonderlands

Hmm...for once, i really desperate to watch it. asking people around me to watch it with me. But since i miss it...then just let it be ba~ sorry for not watching you~ will try to watch u next time...thro my laptop... promised..

hahah~ i really crazy ad....recently...all kinds of thought just flash thro my minds....feel damn BAD..

PS: listening to alice by avril

Monday, March 22, 2010

The LOvely Bones Or Remember Me ?

haiz...i really wanna to have a movie now!! my mood is so terrible recently, hard to control myself, hard to control my emotional~ everything seems out of my control~ damn sad man....eagerly want to find a sad movie, to watch it! then cry inside the cinema~ cry till.............shuang shuang...seriously need to do so!!

long time no cry ad, i always give ppl an image that im tough...in fact ...im just a normal girl...haiz..i feel like got something pressing my heart, sometime feel lack of oxygen...but it is only sometime...i think i really need to cry to release all these stuff out~ i duno why i will have this feel ..this is the main problems..is it because tired? or stress? haiz............

after crying will be much better i guess...but now i really no tear for me to cry.....so i must find a sad movie...then cry!!!!!!!! lovely bone or remember me? remember me or lovely bone??!!

i had to be tougher!! ^^ smile always~ haha.....== if not ppl will realise my pblms....

Saturday, March 13, 2010

last

Everytime..no matter what people are doing, they hope they are the first to do so...Scientist wish they are the first person to discover a new thing, doctor hope they are the first to create a new cutting technique,student hope they are the first to get that great result.

Last time, im just the same as usual people. But now, i hope im not the first. Nobody will notice the first one...even tough i am the first person to say something to someone, or to great someone, he or she will never notice me or appreciate me...that's why i wish im not the first one. I wish im the last one, so, at least in their heart, wish remember me..^^

If im a scientist, im the last person that discover a brand new , greatest thing. Im the last student that have such a good result...im the last person in your mind...you see...all these last is so nice~ haha.. I know you gonna say im crazy..well..i admit~ im weirdo!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Love is trouble...it wouldnt response >< dissapointed

最近很容易失眠,是因为你的关系吗?很够份,真的很过分!我明明才是受害者,为什么你整天做到好像是你受委屈的模样?很够力!我真的受够了!你的所作所为,真的很让人深感失望。
一开始,我就不怎么喜欢你的啦~别人也懂我不喜欢你。但是,身边的人都叫我尝试发觉你的好。叫我多接近你一些,酱才能拉进彼此的感情。我一开始真的很抗拒你,因为真的还蛮讨厌你的。慢慢的,开始接触到你,慢慢地,发觉你没有我想象般的坏。发觉你应该是不错的。渐渐的开始喜欢你了,真的。

现在,我学着去喜欢你……真的,很用心地去学习~希望每天能见到你。每天晚上睡觉前一定会想到你,想你明天会不会找我说话。很想拥你入眠,但是不能拉~哈哈!怕别人说闲话,我也不想那么糟蹋你。每天试着与你说话,就像别人叫的那样。隔几天,一定会对着你说话,对你碎碎念。跟你在图书馆很不好过,总怕被人撞见,我对着你说话。那样很排瑟。怕别人说我太喜欢你了。

你最近是怎样了?不再像以前那么热情了!传字条给你也不会回。跟你说话,总是不回应。只是我在讲话很显的,你知道吗?每天抱着你,很爽吗?不敢乱打你,不敢乱踢你,对你总是小心翼翼。整天都是我在对你讲话,你讲下话会怎样?我那么保护你,你都不懂吗?只会接受,不会回应!天~我是女生也! 我都做到将出面了!你还想怎样?传言、谣言都是不正确的。要是正确的,你怎么不会回应我?是我太一厢情愿了。是我的错……

怎么说,都是我的错……我逼你逼得太紧了。或许,你从来就不曾喜欢过我。是我想太多了,以你也喜欢我,我才会付出那么多。我真的太自恋了。以为我和你是天作之合。根本就没这种屁事。你有你喜欢的人拉,我还是真的不是你想要的那类型吧~你去寻找你要的吧,我不想再理你了……我累了……

对你做的一切一切,都没有回音。我真受不了。你真的不可以回答我一下吗?回答我真的有那么难吗?会死么?回答我都做不到!你讲啦!讲下话会怎样?怎么你都不讲话?委屈吗?有没有够我委屈?真的受不了你。我怎么读你,都读不懂你!完全不懂你在想什么!!!我跟你真的是不同星球的吧!我不想再受伤了。你根本就不会心疼我的!你很过分!你忍心看到我那么难过、你都能接受我默默坐在角落头伤心。看到我那么担心,看到我那么伤神,看到我那么憔悴、忧心、无助、无奈,你都无动于衷。你都不讲话。我只是你的一个棋子,来回全不由自己。我完全掌控在你手里……

我想走你控制的领域、想走出你布置的陷阱……虽然没有勇气,但是,我还是得走。不然我真的会输得一败涂地。我真的想离开你了,对不起,我没有做到当初约定的,守着你。

真的很对不起,对我曾经爱过的你,对不起。或许,一开始不喜欢你的念头在已根深蒂固,看到你的照片时,一阵恶心的感觉还是会来~证明,我不是真的喜欢你。不想浪费彼此的时间,与感情。抱歉,我要投考别人了!我找到跟我比较有缘的。化学,我真的受够你了!你不曾跟我讲话的日子,我受够了!完全不能理解你!很受不了!要你回答我的问题,从来不回答!很难吗?回答我很难吗?讲啦!preeti找你就回答拉~paul找你就讲话拉!cuiyi模你一下,你就发娇啦?husain问你,你不会刮他一巴掌啦?是不是?你看,你几衰?对你,恨失望咯!完全不懂你!很痛苦!果然,我还是比较适合生物!我去找生物了拉!它不会跟我讲话又怎样?至少我懂他,他懂我!跟你不一样!他看到我伤心会安慰我!容易一点……真的受够了!死化学,今天开始,你跟我小心!对我酱坏,别人说的都不对的,对你好点我不会得到好处的!你看着办~要我以后对你好像生物那样,就对我好点。

RelationshiP

人与人之间的关系,真的很奇怪……为什么要那么复杂?为什么要想那么多?简简单单就好了嘛~很累耶,若是天天都对付来对付去。我没有那么多的心计,也不怎么会暗算人。请您们高抬贵手,放过小女子。是我太天真了,才会常被人骗。您们是想要我学得聪明些吗?谢谢您们…我会尽量变得不那么容易受骗。我会学着,加强我的防范之心、学着,变得不怎么容易相信任何人~

谢谢您,开心与不开心的经历已经不怎么重要,对我而言,最重要的是从这些经历中学到一些东西。我学会了不相信,未来一定会用到,也定会对我有帮助……未来,会开心点吗?

Monday, March 8, 2010

计较

I am the type of person that are quite stingy. But not as stingy as my sister lar~
But when come to time to get back my money from those that borrow money from me, sometimes i dare not ask my money back. I will feel so shy to get money back. It's sound weird i know...
This also depends on who are the one that borrow money lar..

When planning someone birthday, i counted someone in, i quite shy to ask the money form her, then recently i ask from her, she said she didnt eat the cake, but at that moment i got ask her whether she want to eat or not...she refused..i counted her in actually...nevermindlor...i lose money..not too big the amount, but  enough for me to know her...^^ is worthy,if you see in different side~

Money really a trouble...haiz...
i wonder why someone born to be so comfortable to ask money back? i had learnt quite a long time ...until now, i ad separuh muka tembok~ ya...half way...please call me shi fu...haha
I really need to control myself from attending certain functions or events or xxxxxxx.....Seriously...吃钱!

im not jijiao on money stuff....juz when i dun ji jiao with u i wish i will get the same repay too....u wont ji jiao with me...but the often not the case...i have to say sorry...>< i will try my best to become more iron heart.... i promised ^^ !

This is good for both of us...the money u own me i will just clear it up....i will forget(try try try^^) but i had to say sorry la...next time u borrow money from me,,, dun hope that i will pretend forget, ok? i will remember as i always sensitive in this cases...

Friday, March 5, 2010

Gathering @ 难得的聚会

Hmm...It's really a precious gather. It had been quite a long time i didnt meet him, erm, let me think, is about 2 months ad? haha....Seriously i damn miss him >,< I thought i can hang up with him during Chinese new year break, but this sem i had really short CNY break, if not mistaken, just 4 days!! can u imagine how fast these 4 days gone?

I got no time to meet my friends, cannot go sing K or even gamble,,,sien diao really... but luckily , i did make it...to go out with my friend...^^ on last saturday

I never thought he will become so slim, ya i know, he always slimer that me, but this time seriously he become very thin. Is it because STPM? i wondering..

We plan to watch wolfman de, but the stupid cinema only have wolfman at 5 pm...who will wait so long just to watch that noob movie? haha... sorry to others..no offence...

then...FROM PARIS WITH LOVE become our choice...when we buy the tickets, the whole hall just have 2 ppl, including us then just have 4 ppl...really omg..lol

the actor look nice...but the whole story like no story, just movie that create for killing people scene..
got a part that quite embarrassing..haha, i just know drink 100+ and looking at the 'keluar ' sign...lol

the funniest part is i bought popcorn...it supposed to be finished during the show...but none of us eat it.....walao...really zadao .. and the hall is so so cool...luckily din wear shorts ^^



















Ya...this is the popcorn...this is after the show finished...>,<

really very funny to see someone bringing popcorn out from the cinema...XD
and i becum the funny person ...lol
it's my honour....haha

We talk about debate stuff suddenly...This year i will sure go back to school to help junoir de, i really wish to claim back out face...that year, we lose..really make me so so sad...i admit, i cry that evening and night...hahha....cause really so sad... i thought we can win, i feel so bad, i think is my fault...i shouldnt pick the ball...haiz...Third place in state level so what? what we want is not third place but first! we want to go to KL so eagerly for the national level! I really cant understand why we will lose to that laoya team....Nevermind, it had passed...now i just wish there is still an oppurtunity for me to take part in debate competition again... ><

I LOVE DEBATE !!!!!!!!!!!
AS the third debater is a challege ...last time im so reluctant to be in this post...if not MS CHEE + MR TANG + MS LAI force me...plus the help of the betrayers Zhang Roong and Shu Shan , i wont accept this post....but now i love to be third debater...cause need not memorize anything...just depends on the 现场状况……see your reponse...
 OMG...IM SO EXCITED NOW....

come back to topic....hahah
My friend..this friend,  ^^ . He always help me when i got problems, sometimes i also wonder why he know i have problems....haha...
Just like me, he is also quite lazy...but dont doubt his ability, he very geng ...both in academic and coco..
Always rely on him also make me feel paiseh....shouldnt rely on him so much de...haha

He say he want to study actuaral science, i will pray for him.... although i prefer him to study medicine...then we can help each other...haha ><
He say got one friend become doctor is enough... I guess, since long time go, i already promise him FOC for his treatment....haha

Haha...i really wish to be his friend forever ^^ Best friend i dare not say as we stay far apart now... he has his social cycle, i also have my social cycle... i just wish 50 years later,one day , we met , he will say hi to me...><
And if one day i lost my memory, i wish i could rmb him bside my family...cause i dont wan to forget i had such a nice friends....><

Btw...his name is zhangroong....hahah ^^ wish u luck in your STPM...

































 hah...scold me la...for posting ur ugly picture....

PS:anyway, thanks for coming ^^ i do appreciate our friendship and i very look forward for the next gathering haha.....
PS:hui...see it? just friend!!! dont doubt me!!! dont belive mf...she bluff to trap me....u know how much she love me de la...

Thursday, March 4, 2010

谣言 · scandals

谣言真的很恐怖,也很吓人……
是我在情感上的表达能力差还是我容易做出一些容易让别人误会的东西?
今天,我本来应该读书的,毕竟明天考试。但是一位siao kia的话,让我感到很烦,很困扰。我从来不知道别人是那样传的。是我观察能力差?还是我习惯性地忽略?

我不想给人那样的感觉,那样很贱。我觉得。
我应该保持距离吗?但是那样很无辜耶,我还是喜欢章荣讲的那句话,你喜欢就喜欢我,不喜欢就不喜欢。。。 像他那样做到不理世俗眼光,真的很难……我很怕别人的眼光。应该是讨厌把~

我不懂是谁先传的~但是隐约猜到…最后才明白别人的谎言是很可悲的…没错,我做了可悲故事的主角。但是总好过完全不懂啦~有些东西,自己明白后,会有更深一沉的体会……正如现在的我。

我真的很无辜,我难得的善良,被人扭曲了。说实话,我的人很坏,我不常帮人的。多一事不如省一事,少惹麻烦为妙是我的原则。现在,该鉴定的是,我应不应该继续我的由终。

PS:现在发觉,当初朋友,包括欣洁讲的,都是对的。我很容易让人误解,是我的错吧?我是罪人……反省。。。罚不可以读书,去睡觉……