Friday, July 30, 2010

big big world




I'm a big big girl,
In a big big world,
It's not a big big thing, If you leave me
But i do do feel,
But i too too will miss you much,
Miss you much......

Just simply love this rotten and simple song. Maybe because it is simple, I like this song. The  keep repeating lyrics make people think this is a kid song but for me, It much more better than kid song. Lyrics strongly illustrate the inner world of a little girl.

Personally think that, this is not a big big girl song. Ya, lyrics stated there Im a big big girl, I feel it is just a small girl pretending tough and strong. Pretending she lead a good life without that person. I have no idea whether that person is a guy or girl. I just know someone that really meant to her, leaved her. She does feel sad but she has no choice. She cannot expressed her depress, maybe because of her pride or her situation not allow her to show it. If shi did show it, many people around her will get hurted. he choose that convinced herself that It was not a big big thing that she dumped by that person.

Why I said so? Simply because she said but i too too will miss you much. She cannot let that person go, she just pretending... She choose to miss that person secretly. She knew she need to forget that person, She got to find somebody to love. But sometimes, we just lose to our emotion. We hard to control what we feel. She misses someone  that she should not miss. She does not want this thing to end so early but she got no choice. This had happened she had to accept it... Although she really miss that person very much. MIssing alone....very much...

LOL...I have no idea what am I writing or typing . Just crapping...haha..Heard this song somehow accidentally or intentedly...just a song...LISTEN and forget it...OR just sing along...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

thoughts#1

Strong and tough, I wish I am. I have no idea what is going on. Used to be the leader and used to be the one that make decision, but now who am I? what am I?

I wish I gain back my confidence, my pride. I want my pride back. It's time for me to make my own decision. Is it you need to leave me alone then only I can see the world with a clearer view?

I need someone...teach me to be cruel, convince me that Im tough and I have a better and cherrier life NOW

Friday, July 23, 2010

night

there is someone, when u saw his or her name...you just feel nothing.
There is someone, when you saw the name, you just feel disgusting.
There is someone, once you saw him or her, you feel like running away.
there is someone, once you saw that person, you feel like looking at a dog...

ps: don't know what am i writing. AS you always said, Im EMO queen...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

climb

Thanks for anyone and everyone that stand beside and behind me, hold me when i am going to fall. Really want to give a big hand to you guys. I know what should i do now. Thank for your ideas.

Ya, my cases are slightly, oops maybe much more worse than yours. But believe me, I will stand much more stable than you. Why? Simply because Im Chew zhi chee----the SHERO in someone minds. You gonna be tougher, as your case was just a kids' case compared to mine. I know, deeply, ages later, i will  take my case as baby case too. But now, I really have huge trouble in solving it.

Trust me. I can cope with it. AS you said and as you hoped. i will do it that way, so you wont disappointed! whatever~ i just love it...whatever~ lolx. I will throw myself into the valley...and slowly i will heal and i will climb on another greater mountain. It's just a climb.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

天很晴,风很大。
鸟很自由,水很自在。
落花知情,流水报信。
艳阳很猛,冷气也猛。
我在发抖,你在说笑。
我很累,我不泪。

Friday, July 16, 2010

whatever

Tends not to care anything, Tends not to be emo, But just cant hold my own emotion. I really know what am I doing. I really know where is the line and when is the deadline. I do.
But it's just too hard for me to say NO. I know i deserve a better treatment. I know i have better conditions.
But we are silly, arent we? We just tend to believe the illusion. The illusion is just too sweet for you to ignore.
Enough.. I really not as tough as you think, nor as brave as you believe. You have no right to do such terrible things on me. Dont break my defence line. I know I lose. And i know, i can never forgive XXX.
The only chance to win is just sit back to my place, lead my happy and satisfied life while enjoying the awful show.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

simply and easy

Wish can give myself a long long leave.... to escape this cruel world. Things i dont want just keep coming, and disturbing...Ignore Ignore Ignore but just keep disturb. Silent Silent mode but still there... It's time for me? But i just dont want. Cause this is not the thing i want...I guess i clearly know What i Dont want...So just Sorry. Im not suitable for these. Im noob and silly. I think i just want freedom and happiness. Simply and easy... Thank

湖面

那天,滔天大浪的八月湖,渐渐地平息。滚动的泥水,悄悄的沉淀。湖水从混浊的颜色,慢慢地变得清澈。原本,这是最终的结果,但是事与愿违。

有人,从黑暗处,无助地烦恼着。烦啊烦,就这样手边的石头随着他想扔出烦恼的心,从他手上划出一道漂亮的弧线,跌进无底的湖里。

这一抛,在跌落处,激起无数水花。阳光下,闪烁的水花,那么得耀眼,那么得刺眼,那么得迷幻……要是在水花回归母体时就能平静,那该多好。这一抛,不只溅起水花,也推出一阵又一阵的涟漪,迟迟不消。回荡再回荡,不断持续那慢动作但深影响的行为,久久不灭。浪起不灭。

Monday, July 12, 2010

闲逛

吃饱,郁闷,烦恼……
秋千,滑梯,跷跷板……
无聊,闲聊,心事……
散步,唱歌,心痛……
武装,假装,伪装……
面具,坚强,空壳……
虚伪,潇洒,假做不在乎
善良,借口,逃避……
徘徊,振作,微笑^^

记载#1

27-6-2010...
He said:"

  • Not at all...just you need to take care of yourself~
  • Jom pray and go bersama...
  • ....... act weird...dramatic..
  • so fake...for me...up to u
  • dont push urself too much
  • teach me maths...bio how u hafal...
  • you are much better than what u think...
  • i cant help u....just can accompany u..
  • you got no choice, hug me...who ask u dun have teddy?
  • im free for u....(sry)
She said:"
  • im shocked by your iq..(thank)
  • you are so_______
  • phone me....
  • path of growth...will more mature
  • you are lucky...
  • you  can....
I said:"


  • we are good friend...so same 
  • same fate sister...
  • anything just tell...dont hide hide
  • go before u regret...
  • it's ok now...nevermind and whatever
  • Im not better than you..
  • Im not kind... if not you...
  • you deserved a better life...my dear^^

Monday, July 5, 2010

Hate

Seriously, i hate coming back to kl..seriously hate hate HATE so much... But had to come back, what to do? who ask me to dump kmm and come to UCSI. I need to receive this as my balasan....haha...

What to do? What else should i do? why so many cockraoch? cant you guy just stop annoying me? im frustrated! PLease leave me alone. Just wanna be alone, have a single time alone...Thank.

Things come and go, things you cant hold just let go... It will be better^^. Stop stop stop...cant you see there have red sign?? Whatever was my code..please dont inimate me. I just wanna be silence... Just wanna sleep..Just wanna eat little....sorry, no appetite seriously...>.<

Whatever it is, face it with your proud-est ways... your common ways of handling these... please dont do it till it is so obvious that you are doing what you did at first......................................................you get what i mean??

懦弱

我们无法坦诚相对,并不是我们生性怪癖,
而是因为我们都是胆小鬼,是我们太怯弱。

那时候,我们都还未察觉
那姗姗来迟的青春 正如一把利刃
毫不留情地  刺穿了我们的心

Saturday, July 3, 2010

[转] 不知什么什么话……

1.忍耐的实质就是,你要赚便宜你就赚,你想不要脸你就不要脸,随便。

我能施舍给你的,我给;我给不了的,你找别人要去。至于别人给不给,那是你们的事了。

2.对付虚伪的人,不是骂她,不是拆穿她,而是让她继续悲哀地虚伪着,然后装作什么也不知道。那么慢慢地,很多人会主动跑来告诉你她有多虚伪。

3.对付自私的人,不是恨她,不是不理她,而是渐渐远离她,从心底远离她,然后装作什么都不知道。如果她去找别人,那么你会发现,很多人都远离了她。

4.永远没有一个人是你离不开的,现在离不开的,不代表永远离不开。
没有什么是你放弃不了的,你不放弃的可能会先放弃你也说不定。

5.除了父母,没有什么人是不求回报的。恋人对你好是以爱情和谐为前提的,朋友对你好是以共同利益和消除寂寞为前提的。另外的人,就更不用说了。

6.一个人生活虽然很难,但也必须学会一个人,不要轻易依赖别人。这是为了防止你身边的人都离开的时候,你还可以好好活下去。

7.生病的时候,自己要重视自己,不能等着哪个谁来重视你。等到那时候,你会发现自己不管是身体还是心灵都已经很难受了。

8.独自异地求学,要学着多和父母联系沟通,要学着多听长辈的话。
要学着忍耐,没有什么是你忍不了的,别人再错,也犯不着拿别人的错误惩罚自己。

9.别人和你说的话,不管出于什么初衷,能信但不能全信。
但是,别人说的时候,尽量认真听,仔细回应,这是对人的尊重。

10.不要轻易试探你的好朋友,要不你不是很失望,就是多了个“神经病+想太多”的帽子。

11.不要轻易对人多愁善感,就算你是真的多愁善感。别人可能不能理解你的多愁善感,也没这个义务和责任。这样的话,你想的发泄就变成了自取其辱和加深痛苦。

12.在任何状况下,不能玩弄别人,玩人必被人玩。你再有心眼,也不是最厉害的那个。

13.不要去抢属于别人的利益,但也不能纵容别人抢自己的。这是原则。

14.没有必要去嫉妒别人的成绩,人缘,地位,奖学金之类。
原因有五:
1,别人可能真的付出得比你多,只不过你没看到。
2,这些东西只能带来一时的满足,而不是永久的满足,不要也罢。
3,这里面有你玩不来的游戏规则,玩的来的人也都挺累的。
4,你有不如人的,就一定有比别人好的,静待时机。
5,不争抢这些,你的朋友会更多。

15.能帮助别人的,尽量帮忙。不能帮的,别勉强自己

16.对于喜欢和你对着干的人,首先要客观的反省自己,改正自己,消除自己的原因。
其次,看清楚她是多么幼稚,让她一个人不开心好了

17.对于和自己生活习惯不同的人,把距离拉远一点,
然后各自活各自的,不影响别人,也别要求别人改变。

18.好兄弟,明算账。不要把账目搞地太复杂,钱是父母给的,不是自己赚的,要省着花。



附:恋爱12条

1.对待大学里的爱情,要客观的看。你们在一起,不一定要有一个目的和目标,
未来是未知的。不要嚷着别人什么都对你负责。

2.不要为了摆脱寂寞,轻易在一起,要对别人的真心负责,要让你的爱对得起良心。

3.对待恋人要信任,要不就别把他当恋人。

4.两个人谈恋爱的经费,最好共同承担,女生不该让男生一个人承担。


毕竟他爱你,不是欠你的。这样,就算分开了,也不会因为钱的事尴尬。

5.既然是因为爱在一起的,就认真经营这份感情,付出能付出的,结果不重要,善始善终。

6.对于暗恋般的感情,没把握就别去捅破,时间久了,你就看淡了,成长了。

7.你爱的人也是普通人,懂得原谅他们犯的错误,懂得接受他们指出你的缺点和不足。

8.男生不要轻易说出与承诺有关的话,

女生不要轻易做需要别人承诺或负责的事。学会在某种程度上,保护好自己。

9.面对别人不素的表白,耐心的倾听,不接受但尽量少的伤害别人。

10.即使爱的火热,也要给自己和对方一个空间,让你们看得清楚,活得自在。

11.对恋人的父母长辈朋友,表现地敬重而虚心。这是一个有素质的人该做的。

12.分了手,就别去打扰彼此的生活。见了面,不要苦大仇深,大方地笑一下也不会死。

PS:上了色的,都很有道理……学着做到。人活着,简单就好。我学着简化人生,轻视人生,但不轻生。简单爱,简单就好……

Friday, July 2, 2010

倒霉

人在倒霉的时候,伤心的事总是会接二连三地发生……

Thursday, July 1, 2010

等待

等待一个人,静静的坐着
不需要任何点缀
身边的空气会因愉快的心情亮起来

等你,变得污浊
视线空气触感味道
全都苦不堪言、甚至恶心

失去了当初的,丁点芳香
狂撒芬芳剂,掩盖事实
骗得了别人骗不过自己的心

完美的瓶此刻仍完好,看似
瓶内却早已被腐蚀
等待的只是丑陋小虫恶心地钻出瓶

等待,仍需自个儿等待
品味独处的滋味
全然不知心魔在潜伏

等待,仍在等待
慢慢的,弥漫的香味
杀除了魔,原来一直都在

等待的拯救,终于
原来身边一直都有各种口味的味道
有恶心的,但是香味从来不曾离开过

朋友,一直没有离开过
在自己消失味道那刻
才顿然闻到朋友的味道吧

知心的朋友
讲的就是这种吧
香香地,让人心旷神怡,充满活力……

等待,承诺了自己
等待一个人的咖啡、苦涩不已
喝完咖啡,不慕然回首……

不再回首灯火阑珊处,
不会孤单的离开,
潇洒随着味道,环绕着的味道,离开是非之处。